1. #6586
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    دختره به دوس پسرش اس داده:

    عشقم اگه تو رویایی...رویاتو بخورم!

    اگه خوابی خوابتو بخورم!

    اگه میخندی خندتو بخورم!

    اگه گریه میگنی اشکاتو بخورم!

    دوس پسرش جواب داده:

    الان تو دستشوییم...!!!

    برنامت چیه دقیقا؟!!!!!!

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  3. #6587
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    جَفر هرچی با پسرش ریاضی کار میکرد یاد نمیگرفت...

    یه دفعه اعصابش خورد میشه میگه :
    اگه من پنج بار کــون بدم و برادرت هم چهار بار
    رویِ هم چند میشه؟؟؟!

    پسرش میگه: 9 بار




    جَفر میگه: خُب دیوث
    حتماً باید کــون بدیم تا تو ریاضی یاد بگیری؟؟

  4. #6588
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    چند روز پيش توي تاکسي صندلي عقب نشسته بودم، يه خانومه با پسر 5-4 ساله ش جلو نشسته بود.
    يهو پسره رو کرد به مامانش گفت: مــامــان ... يادته اونروز خونه ي دايي اينا گوزيــدي؟! مامانه بيچاره،گفت: ... مرســـي آقا! ما همين جا پياده ميشيم! راننده بدبخت هنوز کامل وانستاده بود که زنه درِ ماشينو با عجله باز کرد و يه موتوري هم اومد زد درِ ماشينو سرويس کرد! رانندهه پياده شد دودستي زد تو سرش گفت: خانـــــــــــــوم! گوزيدي که گوزيدي! منم ميگــوزم! اين آقام ميگــوزه! اين ملت همه ميگوزن!
    گوزيدن که عيب نيست ، ريـــــــــدي تو درِ ماشين....

  5. #6589
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    - میخوای خارج بشی؟ سربازیتو خریدی؟ مدرک تحصیلیتو خریدی؟ پاسپورتت؟ بلیتت؟ بیمه***ات؟ خمستو دادی؟زکاتتو دادی؟مالیات بردرآمد دادی؟مالیات برارزش افزوده؟مالیات تکلیفی؟
    +بله
    - پس میمونه عوارض خروج

  6. #6590
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    آخونده تو شبکه یک میگفت: این حجاب زن های ما حتی با چادر هم زیاد کامل نیست!!!









    به نظر منم راست می گه
    حتی با چادر هم مشخصه که دست و پا دارن، بهتره به جای چادر از کارتن یخچال استفاده بشه، اینطوری خیلی بهتره ثوابشم بیشتره
    خواهرم رعایت کن

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  8. #6591
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    Quote Originally Posted by siavash_8 View Post


    چند روز پيش توي تاکسي صندلي عقب نشسته بودم، يه خانومه با پسر 5-4 ساله ش جلو نشسته بود.
    يهو پسره رو کرد به مامانش گفت: مــامــان ... يادته اونروز خونه ي دايي اينا گوزيــدي؟! مامانه بيچاره،گفت: ... مرســـي آقا! ما همين جا پياده ميشيم! راننده بدبخت هنوز کامل وانستاده بود که زنه درِ ماشينو با عجله باز کرد و يه موتوري هم اومد زد درِ ماشينو سرويس کرد! رانندهه پياده شد دودستي زد تو سرش گفت: خانـــــــــــــوم! گوزيدي که گوزيدي! منم ميگــوزم! اين آقام ميگــوزه! اين ملت همه ميگوزن!
    گوزيدن که عيب نيست ، ريـــــــــدي تو درِ ماشين....
    Ok this simply tops them all. Will not stop laughing for a lifetime to come. Jesus Christ! LOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!


  9. #6592
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bache Tehroon View Post
    Ok this simply tops them all. Will not stop laughing for a lifetime to come. Jesus Christ! LOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
    Yup. That is up there along with his other joke that ended with 'k.. khareh hamsayeh ha'.

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  11. #6593
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    COINCIDENCE

    A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne...

    The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

    'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'

    'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.

    'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

    'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

    'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

    'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

    'I used a different cock,' he replied.

    The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

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  13. #6594
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    This car was in front of me yesterday night. Interesting license plate.

    Click image for larger version. 

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  15. #6595
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    Quote Originally Posted by Payandeh Iran View Post
    This car was in front of me yesterday night. Interesting license plate.
    .
    .
    .
    I really like the fact that you can customize your license plate . unfortunately It ain't available here

  16. #6596
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    Quote Originally Posted by Real Madrid View Post
    .
    .
    .
    I really like the fact that you can customize your license plate . unfortunately It ain't available here
    It's generally a terrible idea. You can't hide from anyone. Everyone notices you being everywhere. You can't surprise anyone either!

    I had it for a few years and it sucked balls.


  17. #6597
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    Quote Originally Posted by Payandeh Iran View Post
    This car was in front of me yesterday night. Interesting license plate.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    hahah, interesting! i am guessing its for a show room or something ?
    My plate is personalized "DECIMA" I got it when Real won La Decima (10th CL) i guess at some point i need to update it, just love it so much, hard to let go, but yeah, i agree with BT, it sucks cuz like i go to mall , i get a call 30 min later, hey we saw your car in parking lot !!! heheheh . but whatever...
    Don't pray in my school, and I won't think in your church
    Captain, thank you, thank you very much for all these passionate years you have given to your Real Madrid to my Real Madrid. I will not forget you because, among other reasons, I do not want to forget you. No matter where you go know that I love you , Real Madrid loves you. HALA MADRID
    Some find their Mecca in Saudi Arabia, Some in Palestine and some in Vatican, I find mine in Madrid and I call it “The Estadio Santiago Bernabéu”

  18. #6598
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pooya View Post
    hahah, interesting! i am guessing its for a show room.
    Yes G(h)om Show starring Meshkini, Yazdi, Mesbah ...

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  20. #6599
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  21. #6600
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    جعففففر شب اول عروسيش نميدونست چيکار کنه،
    ننه اش يه قابلمه برميداره ميگه با هر صداي قابلمه، بكن تو و با صداي بعدي بکش بيرون.
    بعد چند دقيقه که ميگذره،




    جعففففر از تو اتاق داد ميزنه: ننه بندري بزن

 

 

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