Football smugshots

[SirAlex]

Football smugshots

Your footballing smugshots just keep flooding in, and to be honest we can't get enough.

The world's greatest footballers may be off sunning themselves on far flung foreign beaches but we want you to hunt them down and keep on sending us some of the best examples of arms-around-the-shoulders camaraderie that money just can't buy.
We admit that the idea was inspired by our Travel section and its forum for smug holiday pics, but we thought we could do better and, boy, you have proved us right.
In fact, your overwhelming response has forced us to open up a third gallery for you to fill all over again. But fear not, all your old favourites are safely tucked away in our archive if you want to revisit them. This time we really want you to outdo each other - a photographic Top Trumps if you will.

So if you and Michael Ballack have shared a heated exchange over that final sweaty Spanish sunbed, or if you and Steven Gerrard have spent a lazy summer night on the Algarve putting the world to rights, then we want to see the evidence.
For some inspiration we thought you'd like the picture above of Phil Brown, the Hull City manager, who wishes he hadn't had a haircut after being measured for a top hat at Epsom this year. Tim Ruffle and Soccer AM's Helen Chamberlain try to be sympathetic.
And check out our new smug shots from the sporting (non-football) world here.

More of the same please.
E-mail your pictures to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
Click "continue reading" to see your pictures, including when Laurence Weir met Ricky Villa and Ossie Ardiles. Shame it wasn't in the "Coop for Tottingham" ...

Click on images to see them in their full, glorious size.

Eric Cantona is turning out to be a real smugshots favourite, in fact we at TOL Towers never tire of seeing his gnarled unsmiling features. Here, the great man manages to control his kung-fu urges in Barcelona despite Tom Coulton having the temerity to try accosting him in his native tongue.

David Villa may have terrorised defences at Euro 2008 but he looks like a scared little boy after getting a hug from Giles Nutkins in Valencia. Maybe if Giles had played centre half for England in the qualifiers it could have been a different story....

The normally indefatigable Italy manager Marcello Lippi looks slightly unnerved by the imposing presence of Stephen Burrell in Florence.

We have a hard and fast rule here at Smugshots: only footballers will make the wall of fame. But then we get sent this picture and my head is all a-whirl. I know I SHOULDN'T include it. I know he ISN'T a footballer. I know this could cost me my job. But it's worth the risk. We on Smugshots are sports fans after all and our football snobbery has to stop sometime. So here's Muhammad Ali in all his glory. I'll leave the story of the shot to Brett Venables, the smuggest smugger of them all: "Not quite football I know but I thought I’d send it anyway. This photo was taken on Miami Beach in 1982, not long after Ali retired for good from the ring. My brother Mike is on the right and I’m on the left. Ali was casually strolling along the “strip” on his own and introduced himself to Mike who was out for an early morning stroll too. At Ali’s request (Mike mentioned that our parents staying in the nearby hotel were big fans), Mike fetched the rest of the family to meet him. We even managed to do some “sparring” with him. Great memories of a great man."

Avram Grant looks remarkably relaxed en route to Tel Aviv the day after being sacked by Chelsea - the multi-million pound pay-off may have helped. Arsenal fans Josh Grant (no relation), Gil Kersen and Jonny Line are quick to congratulate him on his departure.

A good deal. David Grant looks pretty smug after concluding business with former Arsenal vice-chairman David Dein.

Was it real or just a dream? Mick Groom's mind - and his picture - is a blur as he tries to remember the time that Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to play for Manchester United. By the way, what is that freakish cartoon on the great man's shirt? Answers on an e-card to sport@timesonline.co.uk.

The life of a footballer, eh? The money, the adulation, the yachts, the champagne. Here's Dennis Bergkamp in the car park at Brent Cross shopping centre with Shilpa Bailur.

Yossi Benayoun is happy to spend as much time as he can with Jake Pater and Simon Tunkel at the airport. I wonder if that was anything to do with the fact that the Liverpool midfielder was picking up his mother-in-law, who Jake sat next to on the plane back from Israel.

James Creedy sneaks in a quick picture with the feisty Neil Warnock at a dinner. Moments later, the Crystal Palace manager was sent to the hallway for "unsporting behaviour" and faces his next three dinners alone in the garden.

David Hayman and Thierry Henry hit it off during a 7-a-side charity game in New York's China Town.

Never one for big displays of emotion, Stuart Pearce gives it his best "I'd rather be anywhere else" pose at the Holland v France game during Euro 2008. Hardie, Barney, Ade and Phil seem slightly more enamoured'


Lee Blowers, right, is the man behind this little gem of a caption: "Me and my mates on holiday in Miami having it large with the legend that is Jermain Defoe. He was giving it the biggun' saying that he was gonna bang in 30 goals this season." Says it all really.

Lee's back with another beauty, this time he says: "Here's one of me and Nigel Reo-Coker out in Miami, check out his jacket proving that money can't buy style." This coming from the man with the open necked white shirt with matching white beaded necklace. Thanks Lee.

Lee's back for his hat-trick, "I'm kicking back with Tom Huddlestone, same night looking sharp in my River Island shirt and white bead combo, i got the impression he didn't like me at all, don't know why?" See above Lee.

[SirAlex]

Football smugshots

Your footballing smugshots just keep flooding in, and to be honest we can't get enough.

The world's greatest footballers may be off sunning themselves on far flung foreign beaches but we want you to hunt them down and keep on sending us some of the best examples of arms-around-the-shoulders camaraderie that money just can't buy.
We admit that the idea was inspired by our Travel section and its forum for smug holiday pics, but we thought we could do better and, boy, you have proved us right.
In fact, your overwhelming response has forced us to open up a new gallery for you to fill all over again. But fear not, all your old favourites are safely tucked away in our archive if you want to revisit them. This time we really want you to outdo each other - a photographic Top Trumps if you will.

So if you and Michael Ballack have shared a heated exchange over that final sweaty Spanish sunbed, or if you and Steven Gerrard have spent a lazy summer night on the Algarve putting the world to rights, then we want to see the evidence.
For some inspiration we thought you'd like the picture above of Steve Coppell on holiday in Thailand, it looks as though Frank Kuch and friend perform a citizen's arrest on the Reading boss.
More of the same please.
E-mail your pictures to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
Click "continue reading" to see your pictures, including when Laurence Weir met Ricky Villa and Ossie Ardiles. Shame it wasn't in the "Coop for Tottingham" ...

Click on images to see them in their full, glorious size.

Sir Bobby gets a bit confused. Here he is putting his arm around his car and wondering who that bloke on his right is ruining the photo. It's Nick Gray, Bobby, and he's the one that requested the picture in the first place.

Is he having a laugh? George Mitchell meets Gordon Strachan at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, 2006.

Carolyn Perry says: "Here's a pic of me with Antonios Nikopolidis the night Greece won the European Championship in 2004. I was staying in the same hotel as the players and it was a great evening. My friend really fancied Nikopolidis so asked me to get a pic of him to take home - not sure the friend wanted me in the pic tho'. PS The packet of Marlboroughs is his, not mine." With friends like that...

Nick Webster and Roman Abramovich swap stories before Russia take on Spain in Innsbruck, Euro 2008.

Robin Jarvis, a life long West Ham supporter, finally got to meet Sir Geoff Hurst when the 1966 hat-trick hero visited Grand Cayman in July. Robin is delighted to have bought a replica West Ham shirt signed by World Cup winner in an auction. Sir Geoff seems distracted ... has Arthur Negus just entered the room?

Is this a case of a punter being hassled by a Premier League star? Don't be fooled. Jason Coates insists he was the most excited man in the world to meet Arsenal's Nicholas Bentdner at Glam nightclub in Puerto Banus. Maybe the occasion took a while to sink in.

Chris (blue and white England vest) and Dan (red England shirt) bumped into Des Lynam before the England v Portugal quarter-final final at Euro 2004 in Lisbon. They said he was as smooth as silk. Oh, and that's Andy Townsend (third from right, hiding behind the tall bloke).

Deano and Ben met David Trezeguet in a Barcelona nightclub last October. Deano describes the Juventus striker as a "top man". It looks to us as if the newly-retired French international has been zapped with a freeze-ray and taken advantage of, or has he been mesmerised by a podium dancer? It all boils down to the same thing.

Clarence Seedorf manages to see off the collected talent of Russ, Steve, Mark, Neil, Rob, Chris and Marc during "winner stays on" in Milan.

Daniel Stevens, who runs marathons in a Crystal Palace for the "banter" at last finds a friendly face in Mark Bright before the Great North Run in 2005

Frank Kuch and friend perform a citizen's arrest on Reading boss Steve Coppell during a golf holiday to Thailand.

A rather sodden Philip Glaister meets Holland and Nottingham Forest keeper Hans van Breuklen in Perth in 1984, back when "it used to rain in Australia."

Michael Sacks meets the legendary Hristo Stoichkov at the Nou Camp museum in Barcelona. Well we say meets, did the burly Bulgarian give you the time of day Michael?

Mitesh Parikh and his unlikely named cousin 'Tiger Roops' catch up with a slightly shady looking Uefa president Michel Platini.

Victor Olabode Munis and friend attempt to rouse a sleepy Rio Ferdinand during the United defender's recent visit to Lagos.

Just look at how smug Rodney Marsh appears to be when meeting Tom Moody. And just look at how uncomfortable Tom looks as the former QPR star smothers him with his big hands.

Guilherme Larangeira runs into bona fide footballing legend Paulo Roberto Falcao, at Porto Alegre, airport in Brazil. Remembering that Falcao scored the second goal in the 3-2 World Cup final defeat to Italy in 1982, a game the Gremio-supporting Guilherme describes as the footballing version of Cinema Paradiso, he even forgives him for playing for arch enemies Internacional. "The man is a hero, no matter club rivalries," he says.

Savo Milosevic, looking like a cut-price version of Ian McCulloch, fails to charm Paul Coulting and (half of) Steve Girdlestone in Seville. "Couldn't score and couldn't even smile!" says Steve. Same old Savo then.

Mark Price and his Mum, Margaret greet Harry Redknapp at Southampton Airport after Portsmouth's victory over Wigan in April 2006 secured Premiership survival. No wonder 'Arry looks flushed.

Mum and Mark's wife Kathy Price also collared a rather distracted looking Matty Taylor who had scored the winning goal that day with a coolly taken penalty. Perhaps he was thinking about a move to Bolton.

Bill Thomas, left, and Robert Halton make a Gary McAllister sandwich before Liverpool's Champions League defeat to AC Milan in Brettos which is the oldest, and most probably the brightest, bar in Athens.

Martyn Pointer meets a surprisingly jovial Fergie before Manchester United's Champions League game with Sporting Lisbon in September 2007. Wonder if the canny Scot knew something we didn't?

Carlos Queiroz looks pretty pleased with himself too. Did he know that Portugal would come calling?


Gooner Kelly How and her sister were fortunate enough to sample the Gallic charm of Robert Pires at a Sarancens rugby match. The slightly odd-looking man skulking around at the back there is Pascal Cygan, who had to go well camouflaged for fear of reprisals from angry Arsenal fans.


Mitesh Parikh presents a picture of his cousin (known only as 'Tiger Roops' he says, which makes you wonder what his real name is) with Thierry Henry at what looks like a house party in someone's flat.

Hooray, our first summer holiday smugshot, courtesy of Pete Burrows, who says, "One's a legend at Stamford Bridge, loved by all the players and fans alike. And the other one is Scott Sinclair."
We're more than happy to see our readers having a bash at a rib-tickling caption, but in Pete's case he should really have left it to the experts.


A young Matty Jelfs, sporting a mightily impressive Carlos Valderrama style frizz, gives the then England captain some hairdressing tips in 2006.

He stoops to conquer. Gabi Gothold huddles up with Tottenham's Michael Dawson and Robbie Keane following Spurs' Uefa Cup win over Hapoel Tel Aviv.

Steve Meehan, left, and crew come equal first in a grinning competition with Chris Kamara in a bar in Sapporo following England's defeat of Argentina in World Cup 2002. Ah, those were the days....

Sir Bobby Charlton looks thrilled to meet Chelsea fan Lee Williams in Red Square. Still 13 hours later at the Luzhniki Stadium their expressions were reversed.

Sometimes a picture tells a thousand words and this is pure smug shots genius. Matt McTamaney shares with us the moment that Pele, perhaps not unreasonably as he wasn't a baseball player, refused to sign his baseball bat. We can only hope that you've recovered Matt!

Spurs fan David Wong meets up with Ray Clemence at the Sheraton in Phuket where he used to work. So why is it Ray looks like the waiter?

Why does Eric Cantona look so surprised? Is it because he's just realised that he has taken a wrong turn and found himself at Manchester Cricket Club? Or is it because Jimmy Flynn is wearing a blue cardy with a green t-shirt?

Who's got more teeth, Terry Venables or Damian Harvey from Pinner, Middlesex?


Laurence Weir doesn't mind crossing the North London divide. He's sent in a selection of players he has stalked, er, met over the years starting with Dennis Bergkamp.

Arsene Wenger manages to ignore the glare coming off Laurence's bonce.

John Barnes shows he has lost none of his style on the pitch and finally ...

The best one out the lot - Ricky Villa and Ossie Ardiles talk overcoats with Laurence.

Wayne Rooney can afford to wear a shocking shirt, Gerard Conway, can you?

Joe Cole doesn't seem to mind getting his meal interrupted by Jeremy Mordrick, who sent in a most brazen plug for his restaurant in Woodford Green, Essex. The cheeky so-and-so even included a link to the website. Ok, I'll mention it once and once only (and since I live down the road, Jeremy, I expect a freebie next time I'm passing). The eaterie is called "Rosso" and they have very small tea-cups.

Francseco Totti had just won the World Cup when his real dream came true - he got to pose with Nick McMellon in Sardinia. Some blokes have all the luck.

David Graniewitz from Jersualem, Israel, is in the doghouse - big style. Not with his youngest son, Na’or, who looks like the cat that has got the cream alongside Gus Poyet, but with his eldest son who only has half a baseball cap and a bit of an eye to show his mates at school. And to add insult to injury, Dad didn't even mention his name. David, do us a favour - give the boys the camera next time.

Say what you like about Roman Abramovich but he loves to be a man of the people. Here he towers over Richard, Andrew, Jack and Rebecca Reeves.

Kevin Campbell gets the treatment from Christopher Anderson and his pals in a bar called Perdu in Newcastle. Bless little Christopher, he signed off with: "Aged 22 Newcastle". Maybe he thinks he's Adrian Mole.

Mark Randall holds Jamie Carragher upright after Liverpool's Champions League semi-final win over Chelsea in 2007. We do hope you didn't take the shirt off his back, Mark. And then get Jamie to sign it.

Frank Lampard can't win. Here he is with Ash Burman at the Chelsea team hotel in Moscow. Ash is a self-confessed Manchester United fan but the England star still had the good grace to pose for a photo. And this is what Ash had to say: "I bumped into fat Frank Lampard and I tried to get him to hold my United scarf but he was having none of it. You can see the look of disgust on my face!" Give the fella a break, Ash. Firstly, I'm not too sure he'd be happy with the "fat" tag. Secondly, he has to live forever with that perma-tan.

[SirAlex]

Rossy G and Paul McGrath get well and truly striped up.

Matteo Yoon writes: "This is me with Kolo Toure in Brent Cross shopping centre. I met him and his wife in the children's department of H&M. Please note my face of genuine delight compared with his blank stare." You don't reckon it had anything to do with your tie then, Matteo?

In the days before Nicky Barmby was a Premier League player. Which were the days after Nicky Barmby was a Premier League player, if you get my drift. Here, the Hull City and former England star (incredible isn't it?) snuggles up in a Chelmsford bar with Ryan Halls, Rich Yeates and Nick Parsons.

Goran Arbutina (right) and his friend Bota attempt to escape from the vice-like grip of Germany defender Carsten Ramelow at the First European street football festival in Foca. I wonder if Stan Boardman has ever been there?

Bobby Charlton is a true gent isn't he? I mean, he's wandering around Red Square before the Champions League final, minding his own business when he's set upon by a Millwall fan (Daniel Flaherty) with an small umbrella growing out of the side of his head! Does he run for it, not a chance, nothing frightens our Bob, and he's even good enough to pose for a picture...they don't make 'em like that anymore.

PJ reckons this picture was taken after a bad day at the races in Galway. Either Ian Rush found the only sun ray in Ireland that day, or he's been slapping on the St Tropez like there's no tomorrow.

Paul Clarke from Wanstead (a lovely place, I can vouch for that) gazes at Arsenal legend Liam Brady. Paul's missus noted when he showed her the pic: "You are looking at Liam more lovingly than you ever look at me in our photos." She doesn't understand does she, Paul?

James, Daniel and Adrian Gough of Kowloon Cricket Club, Hong Kong, enjoying the company of Wimbledon's FA Cup-winning star Lawrie Sanchez and

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author and Charlton old boy Garry Nelson. Looks like Lawrie should have gone for the "large" rack when he chose his t-shirt.

David Attenborough usually travels to the Antarctic to get this close to a huddle of penguins. Des McDonagh and his dad just went to the Glasgow Hilton. Des is on the left, then there's his dad with the specs, followed by Murdo McLeod and Wim Jansen, the Celtic legends that stopped Rangers winning the league title for a tenth consecutive year in 1998.

We're assuming that this picture taken in Moscow with Wael from Amman, Jordan, was snapped before the Champions League final. Nobody, not even Frank Lampard, could be that cheerful after what happened in the Luzhniki Stadium.

Wael doesn't hang about with C-listers, does he? Now it's Fabio getting the full smug treatment.

Emily Crocker (formerly Gemelas) travelled all the way from Vancouver in Canada to meet up with her Greek hero, Stelios, at Bolton and then a bloke with no chin goes and spoils it all.


Is that Ouch or Crouch with little Aiden?

"Look at the camera", says Steven Gerrard. "Look at that ice cream van" says Aiden. Some things are more important, Stevie.

Paul Messer reckons he's made KK's day judging by the grin on his face. Little does he know that Keegan has just checked his diary and found that he's got a hairdresser's appointment in half an hour. Sadly, his perms took so long to set back in 1983 that he missed four games while he was under the dryer.

It's 1977 and tight trackies were all the rage. So was Kenny Dalglish and he made Stephen Shaw one very happy bunny. Although, Stephen does point out that he's not actually Scottish. So great choice of shirt then - I bet you were a hit with your mates in the playground.

What a gent - moments after Chelsea's disappointing draw with Bolton on the final day of the season, when they lost the Premier League title, Avram Grant still had time to pose with Alex Morison. Is that his minder on the left, though? Dennis Waterman was far more intimidating.

One of the most decorated players in Manchester United's history, so why has Denis Irwin gone with this seventies brown get-up, wonders Finnbar Cornwall.

Manchester City fan Jaron Birkan (left) is humbled by the presence of United legend Sir Bobby Charlton after bunking into the Royal Box during the 1993 FA Cup final.

Sometimes we just can't top the captions you send in with your photos. I'll let Brendan Collins take over on this one: "It was the night before the biggest match in Fulham's history...and Roy Hodgson needed a drink. The rest is history. Smugly yours, Brendan." Priceless...

Niall Orr from Berkshire wonders why Rivaldo is wandering around with a spare arm attached to his jacket. Rivaldo wonders how long Pritt Stick takes to dry out so that he can peel his phone off the side of his head.

"Alright Kenny," says Phil Wall, "you might be one of the best Scottish strikers of all time, but can you perfect the Teen Wolf look like I have?"

Sometimes smug shots just has to put humour to one side and let your words do the talking. Thanks to Mark Mcmanus for sending this one in. He said: "With yesterday's distressing news of the death of Celtic legend Tommy Burns, I thought I'd share this with you. A few months ago I was looking through the attic when I discovered a picture of myself with Tommy, circa 1976 or thereabouts. I posted it to Celtic Park and asked the great man if he would sign it. He did, and returned the signed picture immediately. He was always a gentleman, a true Celt, and one the nicest blokes in the game. Rest in Peace, Tommy, you will be missed."


A very, very 'relaxed' looking Stevie G enjoys a night out at the Hard Days Night hotel on Merseyside. And to his right we have Roderick Hassani who claims to have enjoyed 'a few drinks' with the Liverpool star. You sure you didn't sneak up ask if you could have your picture taken with him Roderick?

Megan and Gabriel Hondius, right, meet David Beckham. Gabriel looks slightly worried by something, perhaps someone should have warned him that since Becks was dropped he gets a little touchy if he sees anyone wearing 'his' England No 7 shirt. That goes for you too Bentley...

Mark Schwarzer towers over the appropriately named Kevin Short. The pair share a rather tender embrace in the players' lounge after the 8-1 victory over Manchester City.

Here is the first in a special smug shot trio...the first of which catches Alexander Hleb midway through his rendition of the latest Belarussian gangster rap anthem. Ranford Henry, to his right, appears slightly bemused by it all.

Ranford continues to stalk his way round Arsenal's London Colney Heath training ground unnoticed... this time Armand Traore is the unsuspecting player.


Only kidding. Ranford and his cousin Nathan, here with Emmauel Eboue, were enjoying a trip round the Arsenal training ground after winning a competition. Ranford said: "What a day too… We met every single player…. Shook hands with God himself ‘Arsene Wenger’… set Theo up for a tap in goal… not really!!!We've probably not smiled as much in our entire lifes… and Flamini promised with a wink he would be staying… dodgy geezer!!!"


And you thought Danny Dichio has been consigned the footballing scraphead, not a chance. Here he is with Yunus Mollayev at Toronto FC's new, 20,000- seater BMO field, his new home.

Harby Abrar Singh tries to suppress a smirk as Djibril Cisse gives it his best mean and moody. Sadly for Djibril, nobody is going to take him seriously in that shirt.

Adam Yusuf and Everton's Steven Pienaar do a passable impression of the Men in Black while in Andalucia, southern Spain.

David Nelson collars Golden Balls himself. And although some might say that Becks resembles a life-size cardboard cut-out more often that not, he looks especially 2-D in this particular smug shot.

This is why we love smug shots. Here we have Patrick Hughes, left, and his friend Waheed Akbar (white t-shirt) lining up alongside the Pakistan national football team in Katmandu airport. Clearly the team were warming-up for their latest international with a quick round of golf!

David James never did like Millwall but stabbing a lion in the back of the head with a felt tip is a bit much. Here he meets Sean Jones in Blantrye, Malawi where the Portsmouth keeper has a foundation to help poor children.

[SirAlex]

Jubril Alao catches William Gallas moments before the Arsenal captain throws off his shirt, sits in the middle of the road, sticks his bottom lip out and whinges: "it's my road and nobody else is allowed to walk in it."

Pete Hardaker is as happy as a sandboy (are you sure?) to meet Chris Kamara whilst supervising a sixth form trip to see Fulham v Birmingham. Very rewarding. What happened to taking your pupils to a Shakespeare play at the Globe Theatre or mucking out the strays at Battersea Dogs Home? This country.

McFadden and Hardaker (Pete's no one-hit wonder). Here he meets a soon-to-be Championship striker (his words, not ours).

Whatever happened to Frank "I won ze Wurld Coop" Leboeuf? Here's the answer: the former Chelsea star has been living it up in Santa Monica, California with Raciel Diaz. Raciel says: "An entry for your silly (but-fun-to-read) blog on "Football Smug Shots". Me shamelessly posing with Chelsea old boy, Frank Leboeuf." Hang on just a goddam minute there Raciel. Silly? SILLY? You don't see us walking around with an extra pair of eyes and a nose growing out of our head do you?

Wes Brown goes all stylish in Manchester's Tiger Tiger despite Amit Verma and Krishan Ramdoo doing their best to put him off with the biggest grins on the planet.

David Wong gets a close-up of Edwin van der Sar's Adam's apple while strolling around town in Manchester. Ed, you play for the richest club in the world, your talents between the sticks are unquestionable ... and you tuck your shirt into your trousers. That's bad.

Here we have Bob Logie somehow managing to squeeze into a photograph with King Kenny Dalglish after a curry in Glasgow. Looks like the Liverpool legend may have had one keema nan too many. Anyway, more impressive is the little tale Bob tells: "My mum once gave Graeme Souness the belt when she was a teacher in Edinburgh. Unfortunately I don’t have a photo of that, and thought better than to mention it to Kenny." Mrs L is one brave lady.

What's the difference between Gary Lineker and Underground Ernie? One always has a smug grin on his face, looks plastic in front of the camera, has huge ears and a silly hat. And the other one is Underground Ernie. Oh and in the middle is Andy Weir (who just happens to be a mate of the Peter Kay looky-likey that's draped all over David Hirst lower down the page. This feature gets more surreal every day.)

Ben Sahar, the Chelsea striker, takes time out from creosoting the fence to meet Gerald Buxton.

Sometimes we just can't better the captions you send in accompanying your photos. I'll let Tom Kirby from Sheffield take over on this one: "Even if I say so myself, here's the king of all footballing smug shots. Featuring Wednesday legend David Hirst meeting the legendary me." Priceless.

After a pleasant, albeit short, holiday in Lilliput, Gulliver, aka Nick Crossley, bumps into one of the giants of Brobdingnag. Ok, Jonathan Swift didn't make this up - it's Crouchy wandering through Manchester city centre the day before a friendly with Jamaica. If ever he gives up football, the Liverpool striker could get a job as an undercover detective.

Two things:
1) Couldn't Ter McGowan lay his hands on a bigger tie, or was he just doing his Oliver Hardy impression?
2) I wonder if Bobo Balde returned that arm he borrowed after the photograph was taken.

Here's another example of Jose's style. Not that he was dining at Scallines in Kensington. More the fact that he was happy to pose with Steven Rutherford without mentioning that he has a woman's head growing out of his shoulder.

It's lucky Scott Wilson and Frankie Steinberg have a large wingspan otherwise they'd never have been able to strike this pose with Chris Waddle after a charity match.

Dave Glover couldn't get a full turn out of Ronaldinho so he settled for 180°.

Roy Beeharry gets in amongst the Tottenham team including Mark Yeates, Jermain Defoe and Robbie Keane during their tour of Malaysia in 2005. Roy was called up to the Spurs bench by Martin Jol, probably because he bore far more of a resemblance to a professional footballer than Andy Reid (on the right) who was obviously in need of a bit more pre-season training.

Nick Taylor had the honour of hosting Spurs holy trinity of Steve Perryman, Osvaldo Ardiles and Ricky Villa at his 45th birthday party at an Italian restaurant in Bournemouth. And this despite the Argentinian duo's normally impeccable radar taking them the wrong way down the M27 to Portsmouth.

Matthew Murray meets the greatest of them all at a Pele 'Soccer Camp' in New York in 1982. And yes Pele does appear to be wearing a t-shirt with his own autograph on it. Draw your own conclusions.

[SirAlex]

Football smug shots

We want to see your snaps of footballers. No, not in compromising positions. We want to see the happy, arms-around-the-shoulders camaraderie shown between fan and hero. Have you travelled to an away game and stumbled across a player in the hotel lobby? Maybe you have met an international star in the queue for the pedaloes at a Sandals resort? It doesn't even have to be this glamourous, we'll consider any player at any venue in any era.
We admit that the idea is inspired by our Travel section and its forum for smug holiday pics, but we think we can do better. We want you to outdo each other - a photographic Top Trumps if you will. So if you have shared a viewfinder with Diego Maradona at the top of the Eiffel Tower, hurtled down a log flume with Robbie Savage in Florida or stood next to Sam Allardyce in the dole queue we want to see the evidence. And just for fun we'll feature the best snaps each week.
E-mail your pictures to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
Click "continue reading" to see your pictures, including when Roy Beeharry had a bath with the Tottenham squad.

Click on images to see them in their full, glorious size.

Wendy Parker encounters the Gallic charm of Steed Malbranque.

Didier Cotte collars Arsenal defender Kolo Toure, who seems to be sporting the very latest in bum bag fashion. Didier, who was holidaying in Europe from his native Australia, said: "I couldn’t believe my luck meeting a player from the my favourite team."

Here is Graham Bethney meeting Kit Symons and Jack Charlton. No offence Graham, but they don't appear to be overwhelmed! To be fair Graham did say that while Jack seemed in a "great mood" during their brief chat, he wasn't interested in giving him the photo he wanted. Never mind, maybe Jack wasn't all that thrilled to be at GAC Logistics...bit of a come down from Wembley 1966.

Duncan Crowe meets a fresh-faced and relaxed looking Rafa Benitez (ruling out the possibility that the picture was taken this season) in the team hotel before a match with Aston Villa.

Rajan gives Michael Owen a winning tip as the Newcastle striker pops into his newsagent for his usual copy of the Racing Post.

Lutfy Binkleb gets a friendly greeting from Paul Dickov, unlike the majority of Championship defenders this season.


Lee Buckley, far right, grabs a drink with Henrik Pedersen, Michael Johansen and Per Frandsen, all former workmanlike Bolton players. Funny how they look comfortable out of the spotlight.

What a charming pair these two make. Here's Michel Platini sneaking a cheeky photo opportunity with Cathy Cunnington in Paris, May 2006, prior to the Champions League final between Arsenal and Barcelona.

Savan Shah lines up with Trevor Sinclair in the heat haze of a Jamaican restaurant in Manchester.

Kevin Davies does a fine job of turning a blind eye to Dr Peter McEvoy's not at all stalker-ish T-shirt at t'Reebok.

Peter Paul Gauci manages to do what none of the Premier League midfielders have done this season - catch Cesc Fabregas unawares at the Emirates Stadium.

Who says the French are stylish? Sep Riahi tries to ignore William Gallas' hideous coat at the Eurostar Terminal in Paris.

Joe Mercer ("one of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet") is delighted at meeting Beryl Mercer before the European Cup Winners Cup final in Vienna in 1970. Beryl is still going strong at age 84, despite a whole lifetime of supporting Manchester City.

We could have you any day. Jake Johnson, Jamie George and Adam Johnson take on Anton Ferdinand and Kieron Dyer at the Wrestling at Wembley, with Dyer already sporting a broken leg after the first round.

"Hey Martin, if you haven't got one of these enormous ID cards then I'm afraid you'll have to stay outside," says Zela Mouskas. "And if you try any funny business, my friend over my left shoulder there might have a word or two in your shell-like."

"... but you don't need an ID card," says Zela to Jermaine Jenas. "In fact, if you want to see my full collection of woolly scarves then they are upstairs in the private room. It's ok, apparently there's plenty of places to sit."

Now then, here are Andreas, Stefan and George Metaxa with Emmanuel Adebayor. A normal smugshot you may think. But those Columbos amongst you will probably remember Andreas from earlier on in our hall of fame. Does Cesc Fabregas ring any bells? Or what about Rivaldo? And below are a couple more getting the treatment - Theo Walcott and Arsene Wenger. To see what I'm getting at, mate, click the following word ... STALKER. Only joking, Andreas - keep 'em coming.



Kolo Toure looks just as scary in the lobby of the Palms Hotel in Kuwait as he does in the right-back berth at the Emirates. Scary for Arsenal supporters, that is. Hassan Al Jumah is not fazed by his fetching orange jacket, though.

Andrew Rogers and Austen Dack bump into Ipswich manager Jim Magilton in Edinburgh.

Kevin, Jason, Tim Howard and Lionel at Selfridges in Manchester. The look on the Everton 'keeper's face suggests he's been collared in the lingerie department.

Andreas Metaxa gets a pic with Cesc Fabregas at the Arsenal training ground. The Spaniard's camouflage didn't save him from this chance encounter.

Andreas also meets Rivaldo at Olympiakos' Piraeus Training Ground. The Brazilian looks to be showing his usual energy in front of the cameras.

"Stereotypical plastic Asian United supporter? Who cares, I met Viv Anderson!" Chee Meng Ng from Malaysia writes his own captions.

Nick Walton is all smiles as he meets up with his Aston Villa hero, Paul Merson. Nick says in his younger days it was suggested there was a passing resemblence between the two. Can you see it?

Richard griffiths, Perence 'Perry' Groves, James Henderson and A. N. Other have a love-in at the Emirates. Ahhh.

Coventry City fans Kash, Mal and Tand drape themselves over a broadcasting legend, no not Ian Wright, but Sky Blues hero Jimmy Hill before the game with Brighton. What you can't see is another TV legend, Desmond Lynam, a Brighton fan, who is just out of shot after being politely asked to stand aside.

Kam Parmar and Ashley Cole share a tender moment at the Chelsea defender's stag party in Puerto Banus, his final night of freedom...

Gemma Williams (left) and her friend Jessica hit the Heighway during a Liverpool Academy game in North Carolina last April. Steve is more than happy to oblige with a photo, but why is he testing their pressure points?

Julio Baptista was "a great guy" when he met Seema Kotak at the Mo*vida club in London. "It's a pity he didn't perform for Arsenal," she says. I think you might find 60,000 Gooners agreeing with you there Seema.

Our first Greek smugshot. Yannis Roilidis, left, says that Nikos Lyberopoulos of AEK Athens "is probably the best player of his generation in Greece." Er, I guess we'll have to take your word on that Yannis.

Patrick Vieira very graciously interrupts his dinner in some swanky Parisian niterie to be toasted by Jean Paul de Beurges, Jason Laugharne and Peter Reading.

West Ham United fan Glen Anderson trusted "safe hands" Phil Parkes to lift his angelic daughter Amelia Anderson onto the top of the Christmas tree.

Glen gets collared by a slightly "flustered" looking Alan Brazil in a Chinese restaurant in Essex.

And Glen even remained friends with Gary Lineker after a round of golf at Sunningdale in April last year.

Mark Namanya does what most Premier League defenders have failed to do this season and collars Cristiano Ronaldo after victory at the Madejski Stadium. "It was a dream come true" Mark said.

Mark's at it again. This time travelling all the way to Uganda to track down Rio Ferdinand last June. Although Mark's mate, Mujib Kasule, looks like he's feeling slight left out at the back.




The Special One doesn't appear to be best pleased by Alastair Mack's sneaky attempt to hold his hand in Boston last summer.

Bernardo with Emmanuel Petit, who is sporting a rather fetching green snakeskin coat and silk scarf combination.


No, Neil Warnock hasn't signed Carlos Alberto, but Harry Stock and Mike Jones did catch up with the man who led Brazil to the 1970 World Cup.

Alex Grant was so overwhelmed at meeting his hero Gianluca Vialli, that he thought he would just have a quick nap.

Even an apparent electric shock can't hide Tom Longmuir's joy at meeting Chris Sutton.

Scott Collins and Ian Wright get up close and personal.

Another in our litany of World Cup winners, apparently Lothar Matthäus was "nicer than expected" when he met Mahdi Rahini. Maybe it's because you scared him Mahdi.

Edwin Van der Sar, wearing the world's longest tracksuit top, bends down to wish Scott Stevenson a happy 50th birthday.

Nick Smith congratulates Aaron Lennon on winning the role as Parker in yet another Thunderbirds remake.

Anderson and Jean Kaio both look rather stunned here, perhaps dazzled by the size of the Manchester United star's diamond studded thumb ring.

Geoff Hurst has been a very popular choice amongst you smuggers. Here he is keeping Richard Ratcliffe company at what looks like Wembley Stadium.

[SirAlex]

James Bedford and Didier Drogba give a new angle to the smugshot.

Antony Berou interrupts Paul Davis while he is eating his lunch. The position of Antony's cameraman suggests they were carrying out some sort of surveillance. The plot thickens...

Graham Mercer is chuffed to bits to meet his all-time hero, Colin Bell. Check the Man City legend's posture - is he being 'held' against his will?

Keith Douglas sees the light after facing the wrath of Roy Keane for daring to ask for this photograph before Sunderland's trip to Colchester last year.

Luckily a tattooed Gazza was more pleased to be recognised by Keith at Newcastle United's Academy.

Matt Turner grabs Ian Wright at the Armani store in New York after "being prevented from harassing him at Newark airport by my girlfriend" the day before.

Ray Barber catches Sven unawares at a Manchester City supporters meeting.

Whilst Ray's son Mark strikes a relaxed pose alongside promising goalkeeper Joe Hart - who appears to be on his best behaviour at a Xmas party unlike many of his colleagues.

Thierry Henry didn't have enough va va voom to escape the clutches of Mark Bent at Barcelona aiport.

While Eidur Gudjohnsen contemplates another night on the Barcelona bench, Ronaldinho escapes being snapped "wearing the worst pair of sunglasses you have ever seen." If only we had a pic Mark!

Mark Price and his mother, Margaret, met Harry Redknapp at Southampton airport as the team flew back following victory against Wigan in the 2005-06 season that secured Portsmouth's Premiership survival. Next month they could be posing with the FA Cup.

A double dose of the Goat. Patrick Bardsley went all the way to Bermuda to celebrate Xmas with a well fed Shaun Goater (and the Goat's brother-in-law) so it was lucky he was in the phone book.

But all Tim Tighe had to do was pop down his local WH Smiths.

The Silver Fox? The Silver Feather? No, it's Craig Foster, one-time Portsmouth and Palace player, and current Australian TV Chief Football Analyst. Here he is on Bondi Beach soaking up some rays with Shane O'Grady. It may be sunny in Sydney but there's still snow on top.

Who do you reckon Maksud Patel supports? AC Milan's Kaka - sporting a lovely pair of specs - is brought back down to earth following his side's Champions League final win last year.


Multi-squillionaire Roman Abramovich gets a bit camera shy outside the Vatican following Chelsea's 4-0 win over Lazio. (l-r Trevor Davis, RA, Steve Sheward, Ray McDiarmid, Steve Bird and Dale Trendell)

You wait three weeks for one and two come along at once. Here it's a marriage made in heaven as an amenable Razor meets Colin Shave.

David Bentley (no, not him) indulges in a little bit of pre-season training with Razor Ruddock. "Not quite sure who had the most to drink that night!" says Mr Bentley. Hmmm, tough call, Dave...


Tanni Murza finds Sir Alex deep in thought before a Champions League game with Lyons at Old Trafford.

Shelley and Katie Green make a Tim Cahill sandwich when Everton played AFC Bournemouth in a pre-season friendly.

Digger Kelly, JIm Stephen and Willie Kelly form a Turin crowd to honour the legendary Liam Brady outside the Juventus training ground in 1980.

Anthony with Juan Sebastian Veron. Who had the emergency landing again?

Anthony Knowles got over the shock of an emergency landing after a bird flew into his plane's engine on take off by getting a pic taken with his Manchester United hero, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. The whole squad walked past as he and other passengers recovered in the waiting area.

Now who's this with Lisa Heminsley? Casanova? Nigel Havers? No, but he certainly is a charmer. Here's what Lisa had to say: "Me and the lovely Barry Fry in Marbella last summer. I said he was my favourite Birmingham manager and he replied "you f****** bluenoses, all f****** mental!" Bazza Rocks!". Yes. Quite.

Not the least but very definitely the last word on would-be Diego Maradonas. Diego the Third makes Brisbane's Conrad Taylor a happy man in Buenos Aires whilst smoking a mean Havana.

Peter Crouch continues to demonstrate why he's a man of the people, not only by deigning to meet Harry East and friends but also by taking his glamorous girlfriend Abbie Clancy to Pizza Hut.

A very jovial Les Bailey shares a moment with an even jollier Terry Venables when they realise they both visit the same tailor.

Peace out. Armand Weeresinghe manages to outdo Arsenal's Kolo Toure in the bling stakes.

Waiel Al-Qaimi steps in between Carlos Queiroz and Sir Alex Ferguson, still glowing from United's 7-1 thrashing of Roma at Old Trafford.

The brilliantly monikered Hooverney Martinez also fails to raise a smile from Our Stuart at a Newcastle v Arsenal Carling Cup match.

Alamin Mohammed Siddig was on hand to take pictures of nearly all the players at last year's under-21 European Championships. Here he is with a slightly scared-looking Nigel Reo-Coker.

And no wonder judging by the expression on his boss Stuart Pearce's face.

And finally here's Alamin posing with a mini Edgar Davids. Oh no, it's actually Real Madrid's wonderfully named Dutch wing back Royston Drenthe.

Another one to warm the cockles of your heart. Here's the note that was sent with this pic: "Here's a fab smugshot of my son Emile with his idol, David James, following a match at Bolton Wanderers in 2007. Jamo then moved to Portsmouth and Emile continues to support Man City. Emile's record in goal for Woodbridge Town U 11's remains as impressive: top of the League this season! David James is a real gent and was happy to have the photo taken: cheers Jamo! Gill Burgoyne (mum)." Thanks for this mum - Jamo looks as delighted as Emile-o.

It takes a lot to impress this cynical hack. But today I am in awe. Paul Joseph not only tracked down five of the greatest players ever to walk the earth, but he has sent us the photos to prove it. Here are a selection of the 1970 Brazil team, voted by many as the greatest side ever. We start with Carlos Alberto at his home in Barra, Rio de Janeiro.

Here's Paul with Clodoaldo, the mercurial midfielder, outside his home in Santos, Sao Paulo.

Now Paul is with the original Felix the Cat, Brazil's World Cup winning goalkeeper, in a hotel foyer in Sao Paulo.

I'm not sure I can take anymore - here Paul is with the God-like Rivelino in his bar in Sao Paulo.

And finally, the hoody formally known as Tostao, which by the way means "the little coin". Well done Paul and thank you. You were bang on the money.

There's always one wise guy who tries to sneak in on somebody else's photo. Here are the Buckley brothers, Aidan, Shane and Conor, happily showing off their exquisite t-shirts in New Jersey when some wag spots an opportunity to show just how Special he is.

This is getting beyond a joke now. Frank Lampard keeps the lads in a vice-like grip while all they want is an ice cream.

Alright, alright. We'll pose for one more but that's your lot. Hernan Crespo won't be looking smug for long, though - he's about to hear that Chelsea have a new role for him ... in Italy.

Fair play to the boy Wazza. He may be a little shy in front of the TV cameras but he's more than happy to pose with the punters. Here he gets to make Sue Deamer's day.

"You da man", says Maradona to Paul Brennan. He's always been good with his hands, has Diego. Conor Coyne is less so. We're also not so sure this is the real Diego. We'll let you have it just this once ...

Ronaldinho has a lot to learn when it comes to remaining incognito. James Ryan had no problem spotting the great man in his bright orange get-up, shades and Paddington Bear hat.

Joe Levell wonders if his hat hair will be as bad as Darren Huckerby's after the Canaries had beaten Southampton 2-1 at Carrow Road, November 20 2004.

Every now and again, we hear a story that brings a tear to the eye of even the most battle-hardened, grizzled, old hack. Here's one from Anthony McDonald. Tissues at the ready ... "This is my daughter Lucy meeting her favourite player Robbie Keane after Spurs had beaten Charlton 5-1 last season. Unfortunately, Robbie had sustained an injury in the previous game so was not playing to Lucy's disappointment. On hearing of his injury, Lucy made a get well card for Robbie and wanted to pass it on to him, so we went to the reception office after the game to see if they could forward it on. The very nice receptionist excelled as she escorted us through to allow Lucy to hand deliver the card personally to Robbie. He was a perfect gentlman and seemed genuinely pleased as he spoke to Lucy and I for several minutes signing autographs and posing for photos. Needless to say, Lucy's disappointment in not seeing Robbie play was soon forgotten."

Wayne Rooney is used to having things fall into his lap but he probably didn't bargain for James Phillip.

A nice bit of Totti. And Linda is rather fetching as well as they meet in the unlikely setting of Dusseldorf a couple of years ago.

Kate meets Henrik Larsson. Sort of. Apparently, he put in quite a stiff performance after this picture was taken in Dortmund. Many described his display as two-dimensional. No more cardboard cut-outs please. (Kate assures us she is real).

[SirAlex]

Paulo Wanchope struggles to contain his excitement at meeting Andrew Whiteway in a San Jose hotel lobby after a Costa Rica team training session, prior to a World Cup qualifier against Panama in March 2005.

Nick Alfieri is there to greet Eric Cantona after a particularly tough shift on the trawlers.

Our colleague Carrie Dunn in no way attempting to peddle her book about Luton Town with Steve Howard who very kindly wrote the foreword.

The ever charming Tom Finney resists the urge to shove Paul Dring into the back of the net at a charity fundraiser in Preston.

Full marks to Jake Paine after blagging his way into Diego Maradona's parents house after representing England in the World Football Idol tournament and getting rewarded with a hug from the man himself.

Former Womble Marcus Gayle pose for Tom Murphy and friends following Aldershot's FA Cup game with Blackpool last season. The gentleman on the right in the delightful yellow tank top is/was also an Aldershot player. Any ideas folks?

An incognito David Beckham may have blended in with the locals in Sydney but he wasn't fooling Penny Warden who moved in for a cuddle.

Scott Walker (no, not that one) cosies up to Kaka after the Brazilian demonstrated his in-depth knowledge of English swearing (apparently) in Dubai.

Chris Byrne looks less than impressed after bumping into Jermaine Pennant in a local bar (where else?).

Gone to the dogs. Gareth Barry shares his winning tip with the whole of the Gardeners Arms FC at Brighton dog track.

This is fantastic. Don Rogers, Swindon Town's FA Cup hero, signs up for the new series of The Sweeney whilst Steve Barrett, his agent, looks on.

Daniel Follon is as brave as a tiger for meeting Hull's Dean Windass who at least appears to be on his best behaviour.

Paul Anderson runs into Joaquin in Valencia city centre. The Spanish superstar is either masquerading as Bono or trying to blend in with the local insect population.

Henrik Larsson looks rather intimidated after being surrounded by the St. Phillips Vets.

Michael Singleton, on the left, and friends bump into Andy Gray and John Richards in Wolverhampton's premier nightspot circa 1982.

The much travelled Brian Deane, then of Sheffield United, fulfils a lifetime dream by meeting Stefan Johnson.

Ken Waight bumps into Alan Shearer after he popped in for a stein or two whilst on World Cup punditry duty in Berlin.

Alex Goodwin uses his family connection - his mum was George Best's hairdresser - to get the great man along to a Breast cancer awareness day.

Brian McIntyre has trumped just about everyone with these two pics from the Singapore Sevens in the Nineties. Here he's part of a pretty useful line up including Kevin Keegan, Roger Hunt, Bobby Charlton, Mike England, Tony Woodcock, Pat Jennings and Gordon Banks.

And here, being doused with water in an equally impressive squad. Mind you, playing alongside Alan Kennedy, Osvaldo Ardiles, Russell Osman, Woodcock again, Gordon Strachan, Liam Brady, Alan Ball and Dutch World Cup star Rene Van der Kerkhof doesn't disguise the fact that this is perhaps the worst football kit in history.

It's a wonder Michael Owen has time to play football given the amount of photo opportunities he's involved with. Here he is with Keith White.

Jonathan Weir tries to prove to Ryan Giggs he's his biggest fan by wearing two United shirts.

Helen Forty does a fantastic job at cheering up a rather puce Gazza after seeing Chicago in London's West End.

Tom Love keeps former Arsenal and Scotland goalkeeper Bob Wilson in focus.

Giles Mansell shows Ashley Cole just what he thinks about his latest tackle.

Sam Ewens promises not to pull the trigger on then England manager Steve McClaren if he recalls David Beckham.

One for the ladies. David Beckham makes Carole and Kay Dawson's trip to Hawaii just that little bit extra special.

Jenny Cherrill looks blown away to bump into Dimitar Berbatov at the Spurs Lodge.

Paul Carr, his son Jordan and Ian Wright are all keen to prove they read the right paper at the Motor Show at the Birmingham NEC.

Jayne Fazakerley is pleased to meet Sven-Goran Eriksson at the City of the Manchester Stadium as the former England manager spots another transfer bargain in the distance.

Mani Pillai meets Jorge Andrade of Deportivo La Coruna, gracious in defeat after losing to Atletico Madrid. Jorge was "was charming, eloquent and polite", says Mani. Not your average footballer then.

Natasha Whitfield looks slightly star struck to meet Steven Gerrard at Liverpool's Melwood training ground.

While her dad Tony looks like he's about to do something dreadful in the presence of Dirk Kuyt (aged 11).

Ryan Giggs looking scared beside a red-eyed Damaris Lakin (her words!) before Manchester United's Champions League game in Villareal.

Lloyd Stevens realises that the fresh faced youngster masquerading as Daniel Agger in Copenhagen actually is Daniel Agger.

England legend David Platt looks a bit sheepish after breaking an old man's camera while Dave Evans' son Oliver (right) wonders who he is.

US defender Frankie Hejduk looks slightly intimidated after being given a hug by George Hasenecz (blue shirt) and Chris Bostrom, while Frankie's son Nesta does his best Fonz impression.

Jose Mourinho looks surprised as Christopher Killin tells him he won't last two months into the 2007/8 season at a Chelsea training camp in Los Angeles.

Liverpool fan Gwyn Bouch and unnamed friend drown their sorrows after their side's Champions League final defeat by blagging their way into AC Milan's victory party and scoffing all their caviar and champagne. No wonder Rino Gattuso looks peeved.

Sofien Ben-Ali bravely prevents Crouchie from being blown over by the wind outside the Co-op in Anfield.

Peter Crouch uses most of his spare time (due to Rafa's rotation system) to go and meet his adoring public in Liverpool. Here he is with Jonathan Lawton.

Dave Bassett plots his escape from Alcatraz prison in San Francisco with the aid of Matt Herring and Kev McFarlane. Mrs. Bassett was on hand to catch them in the act.

Jens Ostenfeld sent in this pic of his kids Jacob and Morten attempting to nobble Cesc Fabregas before Spain's Euro 2008 qulifying game with Denmark in Århus.

Stu Fallow wins the cheesiest grin battle with Portsmouth's Linvoy Primus.

[SirAlex]

Denis Law, who appears to be dressed as Dracula, narrowly avoids being kissed by Richard Stenson at the 2007 FA Cup final. "I must admit I though about it," says Richard. "I'd had a red devil painted on my forehead.........after 90 minutes of sweating I looked like I'd been bottled, hence the concerned look on his face. Although not sure who was more worse for wear.." Er...you by the look of it Richard!

Gianluca Vialli makes hanging about at Milan airport a pleasurable experience for David Gloster.

Jermaine Jenas makes Tottenham fan Rob Deamer's day by saying hello after England versus Switzerland.

Hard to say who is the happiest here. Stephen Rose shares the company of Paul Merson before the 2006 Champions League final in Paris.

Sir Alex Ferguson resists the urge to thump Dave Brammer after Dave described him as the 'second best Premiership manager in Manchester.'

History fan Liam Miles gives a guided tour of the site of Hitler's bunker in Berlin to willing scholars Iain Dowie, Martin O'Neill and Lee Dixon.

A slightly subdued looking Wayne Rooney is on his best behaviour meeting Ciaran O'Carroll in Derby last week.

Frank Scicluna returns with some pics of the Manchester United team celebrating the 1999 treble in Australia. Here he is with Teddy Sheringham, just after he'd been stuffed for posterity.

And from a slightly older United vintage, Frank rather rashly left his wife Natalie in the charge of a youthful George Best. Still, she seems quite happy with it.

Richard Schaffer has clearly met every sporting celebrity in the world judging by the number of pictures he sent in. But we settled on this rather nice pic of him with a very Del-Boy-ish looking John Motson.

Ron Atkinson is probably the smuggest as he encounters James Clarke at a pre-season game at Shrewsbury.

But here it's harder to tell as Sir Geoff Hurst joins Colin Rowlands on a round-the-world cruise.

Open up and say aah. Gus Poyet partakes of some Scouse fish and chips with Thomas Filer after Leeds' 'lucky' win over Tranmere.

Alan Honan and Vladimir Smicer, the former Liverpool midfielder, after enjoying some Ready Brek in Prague.

A Seventies-tastic pic from Charles Edmond showing his dad, also called Charles, the greenkeeper of Sunningdale Golf Course, giving golfing tips to the late, great (and super stylish) Bobby Moore.

Paul Dring meets Ian Wright doing his famous Norman Wisdom impression in a hotel in Belfast.

Steve McClaren is just happy that Chris Cowl recognised him. But is that a security tag stuck on his jacket? Or an umbrella tucked behind his back?

[SirAlex]

Micah Richards doesn't look too thrilled after Anthony Bullock and Andy Wardle insist he gets a round in after signing his new forty thousand a week contract.

Faisal Wazir tries to pass himself off as member of the AC Milan team alongside the great Paolo Maldini in Chicago.

Jan Dodd and her friend Helen attempt to direct a youthful Cristiano Ronaldo towards the breakfast bar at Mottram Hall Hotel in Cheshire in August 2003

John Curtin met Zinedine Zidane, who clearly looks to be relishing his retirement, on a beach in Dubai. "Zizu was a complete gentleman and refrained from headbutting me," says John. Phew.

Little bit of politics. John Terry and Joe Cole, who both seem to have an MP's insatiable desire for a photo opportunity, enjoy the company of Scott Collins.

Steve McManaman beats Sonny Liew hands down in a grinning contest, perhaps after winning at table football?

Grrrrrr!! Sonny stands aside as Steve McMahon does a passable impression of Phil Mitchell.

Ronaldinho unleashes that famous cheesy grin and settles some pre-match nerves before a game with Atletico Madrid at the Nou Camp in the company of Dr Tesh Patel and his children Zara and Kieran.

Is it me or does Dalian Atkinson look terrified of Andrew Twynham? Maybe it's his devilish red eyes.

Micah Richards realises a lifelong ambition as he gets his photo taken with Bryan Keller. Note the bouncer-looking bloke in the background who obviously thinks Richards is a lot taller in real life than he is on the telly.

"Well errrr, if you are Brazilian or your name is Wann Rooneee then I am very happy to meet joo". Sorry Sven, the name's Ed Keller and the nearest I've got to Brazil is a packet of nuts.

Shaun Goater just can't get close enough to Andy Mercer.

Frank Scicluna doesn't hang with just anyone you know. A surprisingly svelte Diego Maradona looks pretty pleased with his cake on his 33rd birthday in Sydney.

Here, Frank catches Der Kaiser Franz Beckenbauer buying 200 Rothmans at Rome's Fluminico Airport.

And finally, he tries to find out what Tottenham legend Keith Burkinshaw is drinking.

Billy Dodds looks slightly apprehensive in the company of Shona McCulloch in the Club De Mar Nightclub in Ayr.

Arsenal nut Dan Tennant-Ralphs meets Nigel Winterburn and Martin Keown at the Emirates. This is just one of the billion or so pictures that Dan has sent in (greatly appreciated of course). We chose this one for the amazing glowing Adidas insignia on Winterburn's sweatshirt. Spooky.

Here, Dan has quite clearly mesmerised Lee Dixon with his amazing forehead lamp.

And he can do a mean impression of Steve Bruce too. Or is it the other way round?

Ian Lowe gives Michael Owen the form at Wolverhampton races.

We're going international now. Printed is the full e-mail we received from Goran Arbutina. Top man, Goran.
"Hello from Republic of Srpska - Bosnia and Herzegovina. My name is Goran Arbutina and I'm sending you picture of me and Luciano Galletti, who played for Atletico Madrid and, as you know, he's now playing for Olympiacos Athens. Picture is taken at Vicente Calderon on the very first day he signed for Atletico, just few minutes after his official promotion. I'm actually big fan of West Ham, but I took a chance in Spain to take picture with player of national team of Argentina. Best regards from Banjaluka city, RS, BiH"

Daniel, Adrian and Anthi Gough make John Barnes's day at the Kowloon Cricket Club in Hong Kong, May 2007.

Eric Cantona looks slightly miffed after being woken up by Keith Redmayne.

Arsenal players Alexandre Song, Emmanuel Adebayor, Emmanuel Eboue and Kolo Toure look delighted to meet the Queen, Prince Phillip and Carina Wrapson. The Queen is the one not wearing a Chelsea shirt.

Grant Mordue was lucky enough to catch a rather stunned looking Joe Cole outside Newcastle Airport before the Chelsea team coach was ushered away.

Erin Cherneski puts Michael Owen in charge of his young son at an England training session in 2002. Michael is on the left.

Frank Lampard also wanted a go. Luckily David James wasn't available.

Edward Burnett and Alex Hunter, two stripey jacketed drunkards (their words!), meet a very friendly Steve McManaman at Bolton versus Liverpool

While El-Hadj Diouf struggles manfully to prop them both up.

Heathrow airport is obviously the place to hang if you want to do a bit of star spotting. If you look down the list you'll see a bemused looking Niall Quinn. Now here's Petr Cech wishing he hadn't been snapped outside his favourite restaurant with Joe Harris.

Wayne Rooney gets some tips from Joe de la Haye.

[SirAlex]

...and here's Joe's girlfriend Katie Atkinson getting a touch TOO friendly with Frank Lampard in Washington. We think looking this excited when snuggled up to somebody else's fella is a dumpable offence. Even if he is a good-looking, multi-millionaire footballer.

Marty O'Connor bumped into the Australia side after they embarrassed England 3-1 at Upton Park back in 2003. Not surprisingly, the Aussies were more than happy to pose for a photo or two. Here's Craig Moore. And it's nice to see John Aloisi, in the background, has not lost the exceptional sense of direction he used to display on the pitch.

Next up, Lucas Neill got a bit of the shoulder treatment.

Mark Viduka was also happy to oblige, but then...

... I know goalkeepers are supposed to be scary but Zelco Kalac, what was in your drink? (We have reliably been informed by Nick from Perth - and he must know - that this is not Kalac but indeed Tony Vidmar, formerly of Rangers, Middlesbrough and Cardiff City, among others. Good spot, Nick. A prize will not be winging its way to you soon).

According to Andy Kenny, this shot of him with Steve Perryman was taken before the Carling Cup final. Maybe the Spurs legend knew he was going to be celebrating.

It's one thing for Steve to seek out a bargain on a market stall in Vilamoura, but come on Jermain, surely Harrods is more your league?

When Brian Garvey met Niall Quinn at the airport he said: "Heathrow has never been so interesting." I wonder if the Sunderland chairman felt the same way?

John Higgins is equally busy in the celeb spotting stakes. Here he is with Pele in Florida, probably the most impressive entry so far.

He also found time to prop up Gazza and Chris Woods.

And finally, a thinly veiled attempt to curry favour with Graeme Souness by adopting the same hairstyle.

Ben McBride, who obviously is a past master at this game, says hello to a clearly very excited Des Walker.

Stopping only to hang with another man who knows how to enjoy himself, Matt le Tissier.

And if that wasn't thrilling enough, here he is with..erm..Alan Shearer. Still, good work Ben!

Ok, we know they aren't footballers. So as a one-off special (and because Hannah Theobald was so polite in her e-mail) we are publishing her and her friend, Jennie Pott, after a few rum and cokes with some of the England lads taken in St Lucia during the cricket World Cup last year. However, this will not be repeated. This is a football blog. No amount of begging, flirting, flattery or camp-looking cricketers dressed as a banana will sway the Editor. Although he is rather partial to a drop of the black stuff...

You would have thought the doctors would have separated Reg Ozcan and Gus Poyet at birth.

Unbelievable. Chris Kamara shows a clean set of pearly whites as he says hello to Josh Hoare in Dubai.

Joe Cole is happy to share his tan with Michael Lewis at the very trendy Sky Bar on Sunset Boulevard in LA.

Obviously a night for star-spotting as Lewis muscles in on the action with Frank Lampard at the Sky Bar.

Hang on a minute - haven't we met before? Yep, Cole gets the Lewis treatment again, this time at Chelsea's training camp at UCLA in Los Angeles. Lewis very helpfully pointed out in his e-mail that Cole is on the right.

This is an absolute peach. David, who sent this in, even provided his own caption. You can make your own minds up if you would want him to take your daughter out...
"Saw the Times Online bit about photos of people with footballers. Here is one of me with Cesc Fabregas at a Christina Aguilera concert in 2006 at Wembley Arena! I am not even an Arsenal fan but think he is a quality player. David "The Funkmaster" Chadwick"

Fans take time out from enjoying some fine German beer in Stuttgart to hang with Arsene Wenger. Left to right: Gary Fraser, Gordon Cormack, AW and Gordon Thomson.

It's that camera shy Robbie Fowler again, passing time at Glasgow airport with Charlie Lambert.

Chris Mort, the Newcastle United chairman, shakes on another new deal - this time with Nev Takiar. I wonder if Kevin Keegan knew about this one?

The prolific Mark Blackburn sends in a picture of Team Jimmy Flynn with Sylvain Distin.

Fair play to Jimmy Hill for taking it on the chin as John Murphy gets up close.

Joey Barton has the honour of meeting Jack Castledine.

Hats off to Daniel Keenan for getting Gazza to pose with him.

Andriy Shevchenko is not quite as pleased with himself as Maciek Laska appears to be.

Cech's mate - Petr finds time to say hello to Maciek.

It's our man Maciek again, this time he's sporting a lovely Jerzy.

Daniel Agger wonders if Jonathan Griffiths is getting a bit TOO close.

Steve Finnan and Dirk Kuyt are only too pleased to meet Jonathan.

"This one's for keeps," thinks Jonathan. "I wish I had two arms," thinks Pepe Reina.

Cor, striker light. As the clouds gather, Jonathan says hello to Robbie Fowler.

Terry Freeman can spot talent when he sees it. Michael Owen tries not to get weighed down by success.

Ron "Chopper" Harris anticipates a tackle from behind.

A slightly dishevelled Eric Cantona meets Joseph Louis in Hong Kong.

Graham Taylor is entertained by Lui Wright, right, and Lauren Snow.

And if that wasn't excting enough, here's Lui with Joe Murphy, the Scunthorpe United goalkeeper.

Paul Zurbrugg sent in this pic of Roman Abramovich.

Paul also submitted this image of John Terry. But which one are you Paul? (Paul kindly got back to us with this wonderful answer: "It's actually a good friend, Bolton Steve. He has just thanked John Terry for his own goal for Bolton in their win over Chelsea the previous year which is why John is laughing pretty hard and Bolton's looking a bit smug." Top man, Bolton Steve.)

Mark Blackburn gets to grips with Gazza.

[Arsenal]

Well, I can definitively say that one of our own members here is pictured above with a certain nice German.

[Kaz]

Yeah, I spotted Mahdi too.

[Behrooz_C]

There are only two footballers ever that I would approach and ask to take a picture with. Who are they?
Diego Maradona and George Best.
One is dead and the other I hope I meet one day.

[Kaz]

Originally Posted by Kaz

Yeah, I spotted Mahdi too.

Wait, that's Mahdi RahiNi not RahiMi. My bad.