Converting to Bahai

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#1
My girlfriend of 5 years is Bahai and her parents will not support the idea of her marrying anyone that is not Bahai, I'm not even relgious but I was thinking to convert to Bahai just so that her parents willl be ok with her marrying me.

The question is has anyone ever gone through this kind of situtation where they converted to marry and what was the outcome after marrying?

The thing is I'm debating the idea and I know my parents will not be happy let alone they do not even like her. But then they married against their own parents advise when they were young..
 

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#4
They dont like her just in general, but then again it seems all Iranian parents are like that. Funny thing is I can bring a Iranian slut into the house without them knowing her history but would treat her great.
 

Babr

Banned
Nov 24, 2002
27,860
1,466
#5
My girlfriend of 5 years is Bahai and her parents will not support the idea of her marrying anyone that is not Bahai, I'm not even relgious but I was thinking to convert to Bahai just so that her parents willl be ok with her marrying me.

The question is has anyone ever gone through this kind of situtation where they converted to marry and what was the outcome after marrying?

The thing is I'm debating the idea and I know my parents will not be happy let alone they do not even like her. But then they married against their own parents advise when they were young..

My advise is be urself man , ok i know u do it for her , but do ur own research and if you really beleive on bahai s faith do it ..
simply bacsue u love her , dont do that , because later on , if some argument happen , u sure will bring this issue up and things may get worse , beleive me bro on this one ..

go to some ziafat , bahai s conference and judge it by urself ! do it at least for next 6 months . no one should push u to do something , religion is for better way of life . not an obligation , i understnad her family and probably what they went through in Iran to defend bahai s faith also ..
 

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#7
The thing is I want to make sure with her that I will convert only so that her parents will accept us getting married, other than that I won't be practicing or going to any conference unless it is out of state and she wants to go.

My advise is be urself man , ok i know u do it for her , but do ur own research and if you really beleive on bahai s faith do it ..
simply bacsue u love her , dont do that , because later on , if some argument happen , u sure will bring this issue up and things may get worse , beleive me bro on this one ..

go to some ziafat , bahai s conference and judge it by urself ! do it at least for next 6 months . no one should push u to do something , religion is for better way of life . not an obligation , i understnad her family and probably what they went through in Iran to defend bahai s faith also ..
 

ChaharMahal

Elite Member
Oct 18, 2002
16,563
261
#8
best option is to invest time to convince ur girlfriend to marry u for whom you are. and maybe her parents will come around after few years.

conversion will cause your problems down the road. because you would be constantly lying about what your beliefs really are.

people would ask you all sorts of question. This basically has the potentiall to ruin your life afterwards.
 

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#9
Trust me I have invested alot of time to convince her but it won't work.
She says her mom has bad heart, recently had a pace maker and if she ever found out that her daughter was marrying a non bahai guy she may get sick or something..

best option is to invest time to convince ur girlfriend to marry u for whom you are. and maybe her parents will come around after few years.

conversion will cause your problems down the road. because you would be constantly lying about what your beliefs really are.

people would ask you all sorts of question. This basically has the potentiall to ruin your life afterwards.
 

Babr

Banned
Nov 24, 2002
27,860
1,466
#10
The thing is I want to make sure with her that I will convert only so that her parents will accept us getting married, other than that I won't be practicing or going to any conference unless it is out of state and she wants to go.
if u dont beleive on something dont do that bro ...
as i said soon or later in any argument this issue may comes up ..
even if u are not religous , u should beleive on something u do..
is she religous ? i doubt cause if she was , she wouldnt go out at first place with a muslim / or no bahai guy
 

ChaharMahal

Elite Member
Oct 18, 2002
16,563
261
#11
Trust me I have invested alot of time to convince her but it won't work.
She says her mom has bad heart, recently had a pace maker and if she ever found out that her daughter was marrying a non bahai guy she may get sick or something..
I have fiane as well. unfortunately women by nature try to extract alot of concessions using all these emotional issues out of the man.
I hear you. The situation sucks.

I think you need to stay alot of nights up thinking about it. thinking about few years down the road.
 

Babr

Banned
Nov 24, 2002
27,860
1,466
#12
esamani;697721} people would ask you all sorts of question. This basically has the potentiall to ruin your life afterwards.[/QUOTE said:
In a free world no one should and is suppos to ASK you the question about ur faith , what u practice , as i said these are personal issue , so h wont have problem outside iran , in iran however sadly is totaly different issue
 

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#13
I know there maybe some issues down the line...
She is relgious but not that much, the first year she told me that her parents would not approve of me, so at first I agreed with convert but then 3 years goes by and I was thinking I don't want to convert and one day I told her and she just exploded.. It was my fault that I lead her on but I did not have no intentions in doing so, I thought I would convert but decided not too.

But now I think about it, I can walk away from the one I could spend my life with or I can convert and marry her. If I only knew what the right decision would be.. We have been broken up for 4 months and I have been dating but none of the girls came close to her.

if u dont beleive on something dont do that bro ...
as i said soon or later in any argument this issue may comes up ..
even if u are not religous , u should beleive on something u do..
is she religous ? i doubt cause if she was , she wouldnt go out at first place with a muslim / or no bahai guy
 

Bauvafa

Bench Warmer
Oct 26, 2004
1,987
1
#17
Trust me I have invested alot of time to convince her but it won't work.
She says her mom has bad heart, recently had a pace maker and if she ever found out that her daughter was marrying a non bahai guy she may get sick or something..
You need to think of the future, far into the distant, and consider the children that you may have and their upbringing, and potential for conflicts. Best is to seek the elders' advice in your family. Love is very powerful when you are younger but it does lose its magic and the more basic issues come back to the surface.

Some general advice is ask yourself and find the answers:

a) have you always known that you needed to convert to marry her? If so, you should have resolved it sooner, if not then you need to find out why it became an issue so late in the game.

b) never follow any faith blindly, let alone converting to another one as a matter of expediance.

c) If you feel you are non-religious, then wouldn't it be best that your partner shared the same view. Otherwise, there will be conflicts down the road regardless what religion, even if it's someone of your own faith.

d) Think LONG TERM if you are serious about marrying someone.

Best of luck.
 

farshid

Ball Boy
Jun 6, 2005
348
0
#18
The thing is my parents do not have the perfect record of finding my brother a good wife, he got divorced twice. lol So there is no way I'm going to let them chose the wife for me..

I did know I needed to convert, I even told her I would but then backed out. It was my fault and I do regret it too..

I wish life was easier but sometimes its gets to complicated when relgion and love gets in the way. :)

You need to think of the future, far into the distant, and consider the children that you may have and their upbringing, and potential for conflicts. Best is to seek the elders' advice in your family. Love is very powerful when you are younger but it does lose its magic and the more basic issues come back to the surface.

Some general advice is ask yourself and find the answers:

a) have you always known that you needed to convert to marry her? If so, you should have resolved it sooner, if not then you need to find out why it became an issue so late in the game.

b) never follow any faith blindly, let alone converting to another one as a matter of expediance.

c) If you feel you are non-religious, then wouldn't it be best that your partner shared the same view. Otherwise, there will be conflicts down the road regardless what religion, even if it's someone of your own faith.

d) Think LONG TERM if you are serious about marrying someone.

Best of luck.
 

Romira

IPL Player
Dec 13, 2002
2,694
0
middle of no where
#19
I know there maybe some issues down the line...
She is relgious but not that much, the first year she told me that her parents would not approve of me, so at first I agreed with convert but then 3 years goes by and I was thinking I don't want to convert and one day I told her and she just exploded.. It was my fault that I lead her on but I did not have no intentions in doing so, I thought I would convert but decided not too.

But now I think about it, I can walk away from the one I could spend my life with or I can convert and marry her. If I only knew what the right decision would be.. We have been broken up for 4 months and I have been dating but none of the girls came close to her.

It's VERY hard to find the right person. You two have invested 5 years together. If you are in your 20s you can wait, if in your30s, give it some more time and thinking, if in your 40s...just go ahead and marry her, bahai or not it doesn't matter. You are mature enough to know the balance.
 

Bauvafa

Bench Warmer
Oct 26, 2004
1,987
1
#20
The thing is my parents do not have the perfect record of finding my brother a good wife, he got divorced twice. lol So there is no way I'm going to let them chose the wife for me..
I must have been misunderstood. I never meant that someone else should find your lifetime partner. But it's best to openly discuss the same things that you brougfht up here with them. The least is that you get another POV.

I did know I needed to convert, I even told her I would but then backed out. It was my fault and I do regret it too..
Don't know your age but if you are not comfortable about converting then you shouldn't allow your guilt pull you into making the wrong decision that will have sever impact on you, on her and your future children. Furthermore, she should be more understanding, although painful, than pointing to her mom heart problems.

I wish life was easier but sometimes its gets to complicated when relgion and love gets in the way. :)
It's about getting to know yourself first and foremost and finding out what matters to you the most.

My impression is that maybe you need to wait a bit longer about getting married, and in the process do some self discovery. It will help you regardless.