Just came in ...

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
ﺗﻮ ﺍﺗﺎﻕ ﺑﺎ داداشم ﺧﻮﺍﺑﯿﺪﻩ ﺑﻮﺩﻡ
ﯾﻬﻮ ﺩﯾﺪﻡ ﭘﺎﺷﺪ ﺭﻓﺖ ﺗﻮ ﭘﺬﯾﺮﺍﯾﯽ ﺧﻮﺍﺑﯿﺪ
.
.
.
.
.


ﮔﻔﺘﻢ ﭼﺮﺍ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎ ﻓﺎﺻﻠﻪ ﺍﺯ ﻣﺎﻣﯿﺨﻮﺍﺑﯽ؟
ﮔﻔﺖ :
ﺍﮔﻪ ﻓﺎﺻﻠﻪ ﺍﻓﺘﺎﺩﻩ
ﺍﮔﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺑﺎ ﺧﻮﺩﻡ ﺳﺮﺩﻡ
ﺗﻮ ﮔﻮﺯﯼ ﺗﻮ ﺍﺗﺎﻕ ﺩﺍﺩﯼ
ﮐﻪ ﻓﮑﺮﺷﻢ ﻧﻤﯿﮑﺮﺩﻡ
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
یارو گوسفند خریده بود..
هرکاری کرد وارده خونه نمیشُد
پسرش اومد یه پارچ آب ریخت رویِ سره گوسفند و گوسفنده بدوبدو رفت توو!!
پدره گفت: آفرین پسرم ، اینو کی بهت یادت داده؟؟!

گفت: دیشب شنیدم مامان بهت میگفت:
" گوسفند سَرِشو خیس کُن تا بِرِه توششش"
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
ﺷﻤﺮﺩﻥ ﺭﺍ ﺍﺯ ﺑﯿﻞ ﮔﯿﺘﺲ ﯾﺎﺩ ﺑﮕﯿﺮﯾﺪ :


ویندوز
ﯾﮏ
ﺩﻭ
ﺳﻪ
ﻧﻮﺩ ﻭ ﭘﻨﺞ
ﻧﻮﺩ ﻭ ﻫﺸﺖ
ﺍﮐﺲ ﭘﯽ
ﻭﯾﺴﺘﺎ
ﻫﻔﺖ
ﻫﺸﺖ
ﺩﻩ

ﻗﺸﻨﮓ ﻣﻌﻠﻮﻣﻪ ﺍﺯ ﭘﯿﺎﻡ ﻧﻮﺭ ﻧﯿﻮﯾﻮﺭﮎ ﻣﺪﺭﮎ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ !
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
مرد روستایی به زنش میگه : میدی؟

زنه میگه:نه اب برای غسل نداریم ؛


مرده آرام میگه : صبح زود علی رو میفرستم ازچشمه آب بیاره !!!


علی زیر پتو میگه :
ننه خودتو به گا ندی
علی آب بیار نیست
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
زن و شوهري با 9 بچه در ايستگاه اتوبوس منتظر بودند

که یک پيرمردي هم به آنها ملحق شد

اتوبوس که آمد پر بود و فقط زن
و 9 تا بچه تونستند سوار بشوند
به همين خاطر شوهر و پيرمرد
تصميم گرفتند پياده راه بيافتند

بعد از مدتى شوهر از تق تق چوب پيرمرد عصباني شد و گفت

چرا يه تيکه لاستيک سر اون لامصب نميزني؟

تق تقش منو ديوونه کرد
پيرمرد جواب داد:
گوه نخور زن جـنده
اگه تو يه لاستيک سر اون کیـر بی صاحب ميذاشتى
الان ما سوار اتوبوس بوديم مادِر جـنده
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
قزوینی میمیره
اون دنیا به جرم 60سال بچه بازی مستمر
تصمیم میگیرن قعر جهنم بندازنش تو سلول انفرادی با اژدها 2سر

چن وقت بعد میبینن سر و صدا و آه و اوه از سلوله میاد

مامورای جهنم دلشون میسوزه میگن لابد اژدهاعه خ.ارشو زده زمین
میرن در سلولو باز میکنن

ویژژژ اژدهاهه میزنه بیرون
میگن خجالت بکش 2تا سر داری خیر سرت چرا فرار میکنی

اژدها میگه باو این دهن منو گاییده
هی میگه تو که 2تا سر داری اون یکی کونت کجاست؟!
 

siavash_8

Elite Member
Mar 26, 2006
3,605
4,764
تو اتوبوس زنه داشت به بچه ش شیر میداد،بچه نمیخورد

زنه میگه ،اگه نخوری میدم این آقاهه بخورهااا

خلاصه بچه نمیخورد و زنه هی تکرار میکرد

تا اینکه مرده قاطی میکنه ،میگه:
خانوم ،من باید 5 ایستگاه قبل تر پیاده میشدم،تکلیف مارو مشخص کن.
مسخره گیر آوردی

میدی بخوریم یانه
 

Payandeh Iran

Elite Member
Feb 4, 2005
25,246
5,458
البرت اینشتاین

همکلاسی ها و معلمام به من گفتن دیوانه اما من به انها توجه نکردم
اما مادرم به من نگفت دیوانه و من به اوهم توجه نکردم کلا همه چی به کیرم بود توجه نمیکردم
 
Last edited:

TeamMeli

Elite Member
Feb 5, 2014
9,272
311
Las Vegas, NV
Ever since the invention of the camera phone, the Russians have surpassed the Japanese, in doing stupid shit on the internet. The jacked up part is we take pride in it. I wonder what is the life expectancy of the average Comrade? This is Russia baby over 7,000,000 views, my people 1,000 words worth!
[video=youtube;ci4hOhk_be4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci4hOhk_be4&t=132s[/video]
 

tajrish

Elite Member
Oct 18, 2002
3,037
197
57
San Diego, California
ﻗﺰﻭﯾﻨﯿﻪ ﻣﯿﺎﺩ ﺧﻮﻧﻪ ﻣﺜﻞ ﺑﯿﺪ ﻣﯿﻠﺮﺯﯾﺪ

ﺍﺯﺵ ﭘﺮﺳﯿﺪﻥ ﭼﯽ ﺷﺪﻩ ؟؟

ﮔﻔﺖ:ﺑﺮ ﭘدروﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﻫﺮ ﮐﯽ ﮐﻪ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﺁﺩﻡ

ﺑﺮﻓﯽ كون ﮔﺬﺍﺷﺖ ﻟﻌﻨﺖ
 

TeamMeli

Elite Member
Feb 5, 2014
9,272
311
Las Vegas, NV
البرت اینشتاین

همکلاسی ها و معلمام به من گفتن دیوانه اما من به انها توجه نکردم
اما مادرم به من نگفت دیوانه و من به اوهم توجه نکردم کلا همه چی به کیرم بود توجه نمیکردم
Payandeh Iran my Calgary buddy, I would greatly appreciate a translation so I can understand the joke, seems to be a god one. Here is a joke for you and everyone, the Palestinian at the Israeli checkpoint.

One day, a Palestinian man was walking in the streets and bumped into an Israeli checkpoint.
The Israeli soldier politely stopped him and asked, "What is your name sir."
Palestinian man, "My name is Mohammad Abdullah "
The Israeli Soldier, "Sex"
Palestinian, "Wallah 14 times a week."
Israeli Soldier, "No I meant man, woman, I have to write this information down."
Palestinian man. "Yes, male, female, sheep, camel."
Israeli Soldier, 'Oh dear!"
Palestinian man, "No dear my friend, ass too high, runs too fast!"
 

Payandeh Iran

Elite Member
Feb 4, 2005
25,246
5,458
Payandeh Iran my Calgary buddy, I would greatly appreciate a translation so I can understand the joke, seems to be a god one.
Wont be as funny but here it is


Einstein

My classmates and teachers called me crazy and I wouldn’t care. My mom never called me crazy and I still wouldn’t care. I never cared anyway and donya be kiram bood.
 

TeamMeli

Elite Member
Feb 5, 2014
9,272
311
Las Vegas, NV
Wont be as funny but here it is


Einstein

My classmates and teachers called me crazy and I wouldn’t care. My mom never called me crazy and I still wouldn’t care. I never cared anyway and donya be kiram bood.
I liked it ha ha. Here is another Israeli Palestinian one.
At the UN, the Palestinian diplomat began to give his speech.

He opened by saying, "Greetings members of the UN I would like to start by telling a story."
He added, "One day, when Moses was washing his clothes in the Jordan river a Jew stole his clothes!"
The Israeli representative got up to protest and he said, "But the Jews weren't even there, the Jews weren't even there!"
The Palestinian, "Now that I got that out of the way, I shall begin my speech!"
 

TeamMeli

Elite Member
Feb 5, 2014
9,272
311
Las Vegas, NV
Do you guys know the difference between Heaven and Hell?
Heaven is when
The Germans are the mechanics
The English are the police.
The French are the chefs.
The Swiss are the organizers and
The the Italians are the lovers.

Hell is when
The Germans are the police.
The English are the chefs.
The French are the mechanics.
The Swiss are the lovers and
The Italians are the organizers.
 

TeamMeli

Elite Member
Feb 5, 2014
9,272
311
Las Vegas, NV
One day, an American and a Russian were discussing politics and the difference between their countries.
The American said, "In my country, I can go to the White House, bang on the door, walk to the Oval Officer and say, Mr. President Trump, you are doing a bad job!"
The Russian said, "I can do the same thing."
The American was shocked and said, "Realy?
Russian man, "Of course, I can go to the Kremlin, bang on the door walk up to Vladimir Putin and say Mr. President Putin, Trump is doing a bad job!"