An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.
"Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One andred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come and crap in each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one andred. So, when I start?"
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.
"Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One andred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come and crap in each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one andred. So, when I start?"
I heard this one on the radio last night:
CIA was looking for a new agent and they end up with 3 finalist, 2 men and a woman. So they ask the first man to get a gun and go to a room where his wife was sitting and kill her. He replies that he can't do it and therefore he is eliminated. Same thing happens to the second man. SO they ask the woman to go in a room and kill her husband with a gun they gave her:
She goes in and two shots are heard but after that comes a lot of sounds of banging and crashing and screaming. After a few minutes the woman comes out and says:
You bastard those bullets were fake, I had to beat him to death with the chair he was sitting on!
CIA was looking for a new agent and they end up with 3 finalist, 2 men and a woman. So they ask the first man to get a gun and go to a room where his wife was sitting and kill her. He replies that he can't do it and therefore he is eliminated. Same thing happens to the second man. SO they ask the woman to go in a room and kill her husband with a gun they gave her:
She goes in and two shots are heard but after that comes a lot of sounds of banging and crashing and screaming. After a few minutes the woman comes out and says:
You bastard those bullets were fake, I had to beat him to death with the chair he was sitting on!
2 ta ham shahri ghayemaki raftan too ye bagh. Shoroo kardan gilass haro az derakht chidan o khordan. Yeki az un posht moshta dideshoono shoroo kard be naseza goftan: ahay folan folan shodeha khejalat nemikeshid az divare mardom mirid bala in gillasa ke mikhorid haroome.
Yeki az hamshahria bar gasht goft baba ma inaro bara haroom halalish nemikhorim ke baraye khasiatesh mikhorim!!!
Yeki az hamshahria bar gasht goft baba ma inaro bara haroom halalish nemikhorim ke baraye khasiatesh mikhorim!!!
Yek rooz yek torke daashte zire ye pol(bridge)baa ye bache haal mikarde, ke yedafe komite miyad!
Torke be bachehe migeh: To khodeto bezan be khaab, man dorostesh mikonam!
Jofti (tork & bacheh) khodeshoono mizanan be khaab!
Komitei miad baa laqad torkaro hol mideh migeh:
Hey, boland sho binam! Injaa chi kar mikonid?
Torke haraasaan boland misheh mighe:
Eh shi shod? man kiam? man kojaam? eh....(pointing to the kid) pas ino ki kard?
Torke be bachehe migeh: To khodeto bezan be khaab, man dorostesh mikonam!
Jofti (tork & bacheh) khodeshoono mizanan be khaab!
Komitei miad baa laqad torkaro hol mideh migeh:
Hey, boland sho binam! Injaa chi kar mikonid?
Torke haraasaan boland misheh mighe:
Eh shi shod? man kiam? man kojaam? eh....(pointing to the kid) pas ino ki kard?
All the top scientists in the world wanted to examine the human brain...
so they get a European man, and ask him to count to 1000!
The man says: 1, 2, 3,..., 1000
The scientists remove 25% of his brain, and ask him to count again:
the man goes: 1, 3, 4, 12, 38, 558, 600, 733, ...
They remove 50% of his brain and tell him to count:
The man goes: 1, 10, 47, 359, 809, 991 ...
They remove 75% of his brain and ask him to count,
the man goes: 1, 999, -5, 0.0445, 556, 1000, 2, ...
They remove ALL of his brain and ask him to count,
The man goes:
bir, iki, uch, dort, besh, .... (1 2 3 in Turkish!!)
:yaay::yaay:
so they get a European man, and ask him to count to 1000!
The man says: 1, 2, 3,..., 1000
The scientists remove 25% of his brain, and ask him to count again:
the man goes: 1, 3, 4, 12, 38, 558, 600, 733, ...
They remove 50% of his brain and tell him to count:
The man goes: 1, 10, 47, 359, 809, 991 ...
They remove 75% of his brain and ask him to count,
the man goes: 1, 999, -5, 0.0445, 556, 1000, 2, ...
They remove ALL of his brain and ask him to count,
The man goes:
bir, iki, uch, dort, besh, .... (1 2 3 in Turkish!!)
:yaay::yaay: