Holding hands with Iranian male friends (for men)

Do you get embarrassed whena guy wants to hold your hand in Iran as a sign of bonding

  • Yes

    Votes: 22 59.5%

  • No

    Votes: 15 40.5%
  • Total voters
    37
J

JazzedUp

Bench Warmer
#21
Dec 1, 2002
1,688
0
46
London
#21
Yes, I have seen it as well but it's not as common as Dr Strangmoosh reckons. Once in a while you see 2 guys holding hands and it certainly does not imply they are gay in Iran.

Personally it makes me very uncomfortable not so much because of homophobia. It's more of an invasion of my personal space. Unless it's someone I really like and feel very affectionate towards them ( which is usually a girl not a guy) I don't like to touch other people or someone touching me.
 
F

farbod_kh

Football Fan
#22
Mar 25, 2005
5
0
#22
It's all in your brain. You put values and meanings on actions and you judge the action and everybody else on your perception.

Not only it is not wrong, there is no connotation associated with it, nor gay, but because of all theses leaning and relying on each other, the friendships and bounds are deeper, closer and stronger. (of course these are all my opinion)

I have been all over the country, and I've seen guys holding hands in Tehran, Esfahan, Babol, Mashad, Amol, Tabriz, Yazd, Sari, and many other places.

Next time when your friend grabbed your hand, and you felt uncomfi, just clean up your mind, wash out your eyes, and see things differently. It's all in your brain borther.
 
LDPC

LDPC

Bench Warmer
#23
Dec 23, 2003
502
0
#23
farbod_kh said:
It's all in your brain. You put values and meanings on actions and you judge the action and everybody else on your perception.

Not only it is not wrong, there is no connotation associated with it, nor gay, but because of all theses leaning and relying on each other, the friendships and bounds are deeper, closer and stronger. (of course these are all my opinion)

I have been all over the country, and I've seen guys holding hands in Tehran, Esfahan, Babol, Mashad, Amol, Tabriz, Yazd, Sari, and many other places.

Next time when your friend grabbed your hand, and you felt uncomfi, just clean up your mind, wash out your eyes, and see things differently. It's all in your brain borther.
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Well said I agree.
 
Dr Strangemoosh

Dr Strangemoosh

Elite Member
#24
Nov 29, 2002
8,114
867
#24
farbod_kh said:
It's all in your brain. You put values and meanings on actions and you judge the action and everybody else on your perception.

Not only it is not wrong, there is no connotation associated with it, nor gay, but because of all theses leaning and relying on each other, the friendships and bounds are deeper, closer and stronger. (of course these are all my opinion)

I have been all over the country, and I've seen guys holding hands in Tehran, Esfahan, Babol, Mashad, Amol, Tabriz, Yazd, Sari, and many other places.

Next time when your friend grabbed your hand, and you felt uncomfi, just clean up your mind, wash out your eyes, and see things differently. It's all in your brain borther.
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I know, this is what I'm saying, its my OWN FAULT, I accept that. Its just I've been brainwashed by other people's corruptions of what really is just a symbol of affection at the end of the day, be they your girlfriend or just your friend.
 
Dr Strangemoosh

Dr Strangemoosh

Elite Member
#26
Nov 29, 2002
8,114
867
#26
I dunno its different with women holding hands I would say.
As David Brent says, "more light-hearted" :)

With men it is much more gay than woman, where it ia often "affectionate", even in Western countries you see friendly women holding hands or dancing provocatively with each other in clubs, its much more dodgy to see guys doing that
 
H

headcounciluta

Ball Boy
#27
Oct 22, 2003
133
0
#27
Dr Strangemoosh said:
Really? Man i must hang out in the wrong parts of Iran. Everytime I go to Iran I see hundreds of kids doing it, I've done it myself for cripes sake!
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u should really get out of qazvin. jk I have never seen two grown men hold hands (even early 20s) in Iran, but as many mentioned it's common for very young to do that.
 
M

MoneyJock-e

Banned
#28
Jan 31, 2004
577
0
#28
Holding hands for men maybe an Iranian cultural trait, but so are marrying your own first cousin, 'mard salari', sacrificing an animal (goosfand) for a relative after a trip in the middle of a street, putting chador on your daughter's head,...and many more uncivilized traits that have lasted in Iranian culture still after centuries, mainly through the stronghold of Islam.

Centuries ago pedophilia, bisexuality and even incest were norms in Greek and Roman societies - all cultural traits, but they evolved and these societies became more civilized throughout the years and eventually these traits were abandoned for the good of everyone.
Iranian culture has not learned to do so.

I don't care how much of a 'cultural trait' holding hands for men in Iran is, but unless one is gay, it is uncivilized and should not be practiced, as it shouldn't be acceptable for high school boys in Mashhad to experiment with homosexuality.

So next time you may see a strange custom or behavior in Iran, try to distinguish whether it is an old and valuable true Iranian cultural trait (such as respecting your elders, 'mehmoon navazi', 'dast o del bazi', staying humble, honesty, strong family ties,....or whether it is only an unchanged and disturbing uncivilized behavior such as man holding hands, marring cousins, 'ghorbanee kardan' and all other garbage traditions I mentioned earlier.

If you see any of the latter you have the responsibility to reason and change that behavior and not to participate in it.
 
Zir Taaghi

Zir Taaghi

Bench Warmer
#30
May 22, 2004
938
0
T.O Canada
www.iiaf.net
#30
Dr Strangemoosh said:
Really? Man i must hang out in the wrong parts of Iran. Everytime I go to Iran I see hundreds of kids doing it, I've done it myself for cripes sake! Perhaps more so in Esfehan, Shiraz and Mashhad than Tehran but still...

Can anyone back me up on this, have I been hallucinating!?!?

By 20s I meant like 20, 21 or something. Ie youngsters.
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL :D :D :D

you've definitely been hanging with the wrong crowd ! :D

I can make a bold statement if you tell us if you've done this in Ghazvin as well !!? :D
 
Dr Strangemoosh

Dr Strangemoosh

Elite Member
#31
Nov 29, 2002
8,114
867
#31
MoneyJock-e said:
Holding hands for men maybe an Iranian cultural trait, but so are marrying your own first cousin, 'mard salari', sacrificing an animal (goosfand) for a relative after a trip in the middle of a street, putting chador on your daughter's head,...and many more uncivilized traits that have lasted in Iranian culture still after centuries, mainly through the stronghold of Islam.

Centuries ago pedophilia, bisexuality and even incest were norms in Greek and Roman societies - all cultural traits, but they evolved and these societies became more civilized throughout the years and eventually these traits were abandoned for the good of everyone.
Iranian culture has not learned to do so.

I don't care how much of a 'cultural trait' holding hands for men in Iran is, but unless one is gay, it is uncivilized and should not be practiced, as it shouldn't be acceptable for high school boys in Mashhad to experiment with homosexuality.

So next time you may see a strange custom or behavior in Iran, try to distinguish whether it is an old and valuable true Iranian cultural trait (such as respecting your elders, 'mehmoon navazi', 'dast o del bazi', staying humble, honesty, strong family ties,....or whether it is only an unchanged and disturbing uncivilized behavior such as man holding hands, marring cousins, 'ghorbanee kardan' and all other garbage traditions I mentioned earlier.

If you see any of the latter you have the responsibility to reason and change that behavior and not to participate in it.
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But why does men holding hands have to be gay? Why can't it be just a sign of affection? Like the way those hobbits are hugging each other so affectionately in slow motion at the end of Lord of the Rings? I'm just saying we have used this Western concept of holding hands=gay to pervert a perfectly gentle, traditional Iranian custom.
 
Dr Strangemoosh

Dr Strangemoosh

Elite Member
#32
Nov 29, 2002
8,114
867
#32
No I haven't been to Qazvin, but if I analyse the Iranians who DONT do this are the Westernized family members living in posh parts of Tehran with their satellite tvs and kharej-parasti attributes, the ones who are always on about wanting to leave the country.

The ones who do do this are less westernized, still city dwellers (you can't call them dAhAti), but don't necessarily live in the most affluent areas of the cities.

If I can be bold, I am going to suggest that the Iranians here who haven't ever seen this are ones who generally spent most of their childhood in wealthier and more "cultured" (ie Western culture) areas.

I wasnt even born in Iran, but I still try to travel around and spend as little time in shomAleh tehrAn as possible, to see the other 99% of the country, and I see young men holding hands all the time.

Sorry to be controversial!!!
 
Pey_man

Pey_man

Bench Warmer
#34
Dec 21, 2004
827
1
#34
Bache Tehroon(ISP) said:
I spent most of my life in Iran and still have very close contact with Iran, yet I have never seen 2 guys in their 20s holding hands and walking down the street in Iran.
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me too. This holding hand thing is pure nonsense to me. I've seen girls hold hand, but never seen young men hold hands. Though I've seen young men put an arm around a friend's shoulder, which is just a sign of friendship and has no other meaning (I doubt if anyone disagrees).

Can you tell me how many times and where you have seen young men hold hands? are you talking about shaking hands?
 
P

PouyaFatemi

Bench Warmer
#35
Oct 19, 2002
901
0
Dallas, Tx
#35
I spent 15 years in Iran and I RARELY saw two men holding hands. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I have only seen father/son or brothers holding hands, maybe once or twice. It is not common at all.
 
H

homposs

Football Fan
#37
Dec 10, 2003
12
0
#37
this thread is cracking me up... :)

To the Dr: Yes I have seen two guys holding hands in Iran. Although this time I went to Iran I didn't notice it as much. The guys over there don't give it a second thought so neither should anybody else when they go over there.

What was a bit weird for me was seeing 2 Indian guys hanging off each other in Dubai practically about to make out... that was a bit too much for me. Actually my sister who has been to India says the guys are very affectionate towards each other there.
 
D

deerouz

Captain
#38
Oct 18, 2002
11,593
3
#38
Bache Tehroon(ISP) said:
I spent most of my life in Iran and still have very close contact with Iran, yet I have never seen 2 guys in their 20s holding hands and walking down the street in Iran.
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unless....they are....gay.... :)
 
ferdosi

ferdosi

Bench Warmer
#39
Apr 21, 2004
2,190
0
#39
I have heard in Ghazvin this is a very common thing to do, not only holding hands but also other things.
 
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