HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A Woman/Man

Romira

Romira

IPL Player
#1
Dec 13, 2002
2,694
0
middle of no where
#1
this was sendt to me by e-mail and cracked me up. thought to share it w/ you all. some parts are soooooo TRUE!

----HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN----
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and
mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on
head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

----HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN-------
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife/girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
willy and hate the size of your belly ;)-- scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.( YUCK)
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time. (?)
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
"woo-woo" sound again.Throw wet towel on bed.
 
D

deerouz

Captain
#5
Oct 18, 2002
11,593
3
#5
Romira said:
----HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN-------
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife/girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
willy and hate the size of your belly ;)-- scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.( YUCK)
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time. (?)
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
"woo-woo" sound again.Throw wet towel on bed.
Click to expand...
[Scratching my head] But isn't this the normal way? What's wrong with that? :confused:

By the way the original email included a few other things that we men usually do in the shower;) thanks for deleting them.
 
S

shahinc

Legionnaire
#6
May 8, 2005
6,745
1
#6
Romira said:
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

If you see your wife/girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Click to expand...
looooooolll, that was really awsome :)
 
Pooya

Pooya

Administrator
Staff member
#7
Sep 23, 2004
35,398
1,454
Vancouver, Canada
www.IranSportsPress.com
#7
Niloufar said:
LOOOOOOL!!! so u fart/sing too?!!!euu!!

thanx Romira jaan, it was so funny!!!
Click to expand...
i actually sing with my farts if it makes it better, some times fart is the drums (after loobia) or sometimes plays the keybaord , fart is actually very talented depending on what u feed it, it performs different functions
 
shawshank

shawshank

Captain
#9
Sep 25, 2004
8,617
2
34
Toronto
#9
Very True, especially the fart part, however it's different for me. You guys can ask Shayan, my farts are nicknamed "Silent Assassins". Basically there is no sound, and it just sneaks up on you and catches you off guard. I've given people headaches with my farts and to be honest, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. My job in the shower to release some silent assassins that can overtake the smell of the shampoo in the shower :D

Also, I don't know about you guys but sometimes I just wake up, go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet, scratch my nuts to literally a bleeding point while falling asleep. :(
Maybe that's just me
 
Zopyrus

Zopyrus

Bench Warmer
#11
Aug 11, 2004
1,036
0
38
#11
shawshank said:
Very True, especially the fart part, however it's different for me. You guys can ask Shayan, my farts are nicknamed "Silent Assassins". Basically there is no sound, and it just sneaks up on you and catches you off guard. I've given people headaches with my farts and to be honest, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. My job in the shower to release some silent assassins that can overtake the smell of the shampoo in the shower :D

Also, I don't know about you guys but sometimes I just wake up, go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet, scratch my nuts to literally a bleeding point while falling asleep. :(
Maybe that's just me
Click to expand...
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL ROFLMAO :D :D :D OMG :cheers:
 
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