A young man went to his father one day to tell him
that he wanted to get married. His father was happy
for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and the he
told him that it was Samantha a girl from the
neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his
son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The
girl you want to marry is your sister, but please
don't tell your mother." The young man again brought 3
more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause
the response was still the same. So he decides to go
to his mother. "Mama I want to get married but all the
girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I
mustn't tell you." His mother smiling said to him,"
Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.
You're not their brother! "
that he wanted to get married. His father was happy
for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and the he
told him that it was Samantha a girl from the
neighborhood. With a sad face the old man said to his
son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The
girl you want to marry is your sister, but please
don't tell your mother." The young man again brought 3
more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause
the response was still the same. So he decides to go
to his mother. "Mama I want to get married but all the
girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I
mustn't tell you." His mother smiling said to him,"
Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.
You're not their brother! "
:kiss:
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City.
One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money
to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind
the Star of David. Finally the priest goes over to the beggar behind
the Star of David and says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand?
This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money
if you sit there with a 'Star of David' in front of you, especially
when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they
would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned
to the other beggar w! ith the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money
to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind
the Star of David. Finally the priest goes over to the beggar behind
the Star of David and says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand?
This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money
if you sit there with a 'Star of David' in front of you, especially
when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they
would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned
to the other beggar w! ith the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor if he would cover his Confession shift for him -- he said it was easy, since he had a sin list inside the booth which listed both sins and penance. The janitor agreed and took the booth early on Sunday morning. Soon people showed up.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery."
"Adultery, eh?" the janitor said. "You sly devil. That'll be three Hail Mary's, plus five bucks."
"Thank you, Father." Another person came into the booth.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have embezzled money from work."
"Embezzlement, eh? Naughty, naughty. That'll be 5 Hail Mary's, plus fourteen bucks."
"Thank you, Father." This was easy, the janitor thought. Another person came into the booth.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of oral sex."
"Oral sex, huh?" He looked at the list, but didn't see it there. So, he excused himelf to look for help. He found an alter boy hanging out on the steps of the church.
"Excuse me," the janitor said. "What does Father Matthew give for oral sex?"
"Well," said the boy, "usually just milk and cookies, but sometimes a Snickers."
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery."
"Adultery, eh?" the janitor said. "You sly devil. That'll be three Hail Mary's, plus five bucks."
"Thank you, Father." Another person came into the booth.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have embezzled money from work."
"Embezzlement, eh? Naughty, naughty. That'll be 5 Hail Mary's, plus fourteen bucks."
"Thank you, Father." This was easy, the janitor thought. Another person came into the booth.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of oral sex."
"Oral sex, huh?" He looked at the list, but didn't see it there. So, he excused himelf to look for help. He found an alter boy hanging out on the steps of the church.
"Excuse me," the janitor said. "What does Father Matthew give for oral sex?"
"Well," said the boy, "usually just milk and cookies, but sometimes a Snickers."
