"Love" problem...!!!???

Persian_Beauty · Nov 14, 2005

A girlfriend is still in-love with her ex-boyfriend...

.....but....

There is a new man who is admitting his love to her for the past 3-weeks....This guy who is loved by everyone (specially her family) poped the question the other day with a "ring"...

As happy as her family is, she is misrable....She keeps telling her ex-boyfriend she still loves him and he refuses to get back together with her...

She is really sad...24-7....I have no idea what to say since she keeps saying how much she loves her ex-boyfriend....As easy as it is for me to say "Move On"...she just can't stop loving him....

She and her ex-boyfriend fought alot...but, they also cared for one another very much until their last fight where he misunderstood something she said and broke it off...so...

Any suggestions....?

I told het I was gonna do this (post it here) and see if I can suggest anything...Please help....She is VERY HURT....Confused...and sad....

What do you suggest she should do to "Forget the Ex" and give the new guy (or any guy) a chance....???

Love & Peace....

PB..

wvupersian · Nov 14, 2005

Abi ke rikht, jam kardanesh sakhte.............
I do not believe in Ex crap and I do not see any point of loving someone that meets other people!

If she really loved her ex, she wouldn't meet someone new and get into all this.....

Tell her move on with your life, If he broke up with you once it would be much easier second time! and give new guy a chance......\\

good luck to her

Sly · Nov 14, 2005

If she's good looking, give her my e-mail adress and I'll cheer her up!

Bache Tehroon · Nov 14, 2005

Does the "ex" still care for her? If so, why not try to see if they can work it out for one last time and if NO, then how can you love someone that doesn't really care about you?(I know it's possible when you're a teenager, but if you're over 25 then it makes no sense).

Regardless of her decision about her love, it would be very naive to get married to someone you're not even sure about. Don't you agree?

The marriage issue should be put to rest first and to me it looks like a big "NO NO".

MohammadLin · Nov 14, 2005

All I can say, is relax, socialize, talk about it with different people, and don't look for any specific prescription! It does not exist.

But regarding,

Bache Tehroon(ISP) said:

BT jan,

How can you?!!! over 25! The problem is that your logic doesn't help in this case!!! Sarha borieede bini bezolm-o biJeneyat!!!

aKHARIN Bar ke Teer khorde be Ghalbet key boode ;-)

Eybaba, Millions and millions of people in history of mankind have had this problem! It is even worse than cancer and HIV virus. With the slight difference that it gives you some sort of weird satisfaction. Makes you think why there is no reseach exploring this problem.

Persian_Beauty · Nov 14, 2005

wvupersian said:

Good advice!

I agree with you ....I believe once someone breaks up with you it just means "they are not going to stick around" later on anyways...
To me personally, a relationship is the same as Marriage...At least that's how I treat it..But, there are times If I am with someone who shows me "red-Flags" I need to see it for what it is and let it go as soon as possible...So, it really depends on the person and the situation...

I will have her read everyone's comments...Perhaps you guys can help her...I appreciate your comments...

Peace,
PB..

Persian_Beauty · Nov 14, 2005

Sly said:

LoooL...She is fairly attractive but, I think at this point she has her hands full...LOL

but, I'll tell her...

PB

Persian_Beauty · Nov 14, 2005

Bache Tehroon(ISP) said:

Well....I guess he might still care for her but, he is not saying it nor showing it...He is playing games (I think)...she really wants things to workout with him...
but,
he says no because they fought alot.....
Just so you know, she has gone through alot this past 10 months with her personal life...He knew everything about her and said he wanted to be with her (I guess her good looks was a big factor) but now everything about her life became an issue for him...She told him she did NOT want a relationship until she was done taking care of her life...But, he would not take "No" for an answer...
Personally, I think he is not a relationship material (as much as I think he is a nice person)...dating "Wrong" women all your life can become a bad habit!!! Ypou treat every other women the same...You get use to treating a relationship as a Come-n-go door...I think that shows the lack of "self-respect" for himself, Being a lost-soul, and too much Ego ...He is a nice person as I said, but he is a "Nightmere" boyfriend...!!!

I just hope she gets over it ASAP so she can be her happy-self again...

I like your point too and I agree with giving it one more chance but he is too busy chasing other women right now...
she has been very honest with him ....she has no (unhealthy)EGO when it comes to loving him and being open about it....He already knows all this...believe me...She has told him that many times....But now, he has a "profile" on a singles' website which is making my girlfriend feel that "he was a Liar who pretended to be nice"...But, as you know when 2 people break up, they go through emotional ups and down and that's what's happening to her...

I think once she finds a new person, he'll come back knocking on her door...Plus, he is who he is...I think she gave him too much credit that he did not deserve at all...But, that's just my opinion...

Thanks and have fun in DC...(if you are still there)..

PB

ME · Nov 14, 2005

Tell her to move on and give ok to the new guy and make sure the ex would know about that too.
Assuming her story is true, she must know her bf does not really care about her much because he is so sure he has her anyway. The right approach to misunderstanding, if he truly cared about her, was communication not dumping.
The ex seems to be insecure and enjoying power games. If he feels he doesn't have the upperhand anymore, he would return himself. Then it wold be the time for his payback. :chase:

Persian_Beauty · Nov 14, 2005

ME said:

LOOOL
That fits his profile perfectly!!!
I makesure I tell her that...FYI, the story is true and she always had the "Power" struggle with him...lol...funny you mentioned that...You are 100% correct...

Take care,
PB...

wvupersian · Nov 15, 2005

Persian_Beauty said:

I doubt it she will listen to us or anyone else.....it seems that she already made her mind and wants to waiste more days of he life with ex...update us in future .....

good luck to her and alll confused girls

Niloufar · Nov 15, 2005

wvupersian said:

loool!!!that was mean!!!

Tell her to move on and more importantly to open her eyes and get out of denial..
I think U, as her close friend?, can be a great help to her. tell her, that her ex wasnt bf/partner material at all(bc of this and that reason) and that she deserves some1 who cares for her just like she cares for the other person. tell her its a 2 way road and as an old saying says:
"baraye kasi bemir ke barat tab koneh"!!!

I wish her luck..she just fell in love with a wrong person I guess.

wvupersian · Nov 15, 2005

Niloufar said:

LOL Mekhastam yekam gheratish konam...shayad bekheyal Ex beshe

eep:

Persian_Beauty · Nov 15, 2005

wvupersian said:

I second that...I copy paste it for her so she can see it...maybe it would all make sense to her finally...

p.s. you are funny

Persian_Beauty · Nov 15, 2005

Niloufar said:

You are absolutly right...She never seemed this "Sad" to me and I really want her to move on...I help her as much as I can but, she has to do all the hard work...
Thanks for your comment...I wish she would get out of it too ASAP...

PB..

ME · Nov 15, 2005

Persian_Beauty said:

Oh, she would get over it. Of course sooner better than later. This is not what you should be worried about. The main concern would be her recovery in a healthy way rather than a psychpathologc one. Meaning she should not turn into a player herself or think that love does not worth it.
Of course I believe the ex must be punished in his same mean way as I said before! Tell her Just don't expand it to others or herself.:smoke:

Persian_Beauty · Nov 16, 2005

ME said:

Oh, she would get over it. Of course sooner better than later. This is not what you should be worried about. The main concern would be her recovery in a healthy way rather than a psychpathologc one. Meaning she should not turn into a player herself or think that love does not worth it.
Of course I believe the ex must be punished in his same mean way as I said before! Tell her Just don't expand it to others or herself.:smoke:

I do believe in "Karma" so what goes around comes around....!:arrow:

PB:sorry:

Kabootar · Nov 17, 2005

How long does she know the new guy? Looks like she does not have much feeling towards him. That cancels that realtionship. I do not think it would work at this point and also is not appropriate to say yes because others in the family like him, After all they are not marrying him.

The old boy friend not talking, there is not enough backgrond to give advice. Love alone is not enough to ensure successful future. I have seen many so called love turning to hate in no time or quickly after marrigae when initial fantacy is over and reality has hit. I suggest for her to analyse what she wants to do and honestly try to see if she can have any future with this guy. Have an open mind and be prepared to move on. There are many other opportunities in future, take the time and do not rush things.

btw- Tell her to be strong and say what she stands for with no fear of what anyone would think (for example the one she loves). If the love is mutual he would respect back and if not there is nothing to worry about)

All the best.

Persian_Beauty · Nov 19, 2005

Kabootar said:

She knew him for 4 months...I guess they got too close too fast...so...everythig faded away...you know what they say: "Tabbeh toond aragheh sard dareh"...
The new guy had known her for a while but, she never dated him in the past...Her family really like him...so, she is not interested but she is afraid for her own future since she loves her Ex very much...

I hope that's enough info...

kindly yours,
PB

shahinc · Nov 20, 2005

Persian_Beauty said:

How old is your firend ??!!
Tell her you can not love someone after 4 month. That is not love , it is lust.

"Love" problem...!!!???

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